‘Even if it means ruining a friendship.’
I swallowed hard.
‘Does it mean that, then?’
He scratched the back of his head. Dropped his hand. Then repeated the action with his other one.
‘Look. I know you believe in all this being open stuff. But sometimes it’s best to keep things to yourself.’
‘So, is that a yes to the friendship ruination question, then?’
‘I don’t know. Five minutes ago you were in love with my best mate, and now this? What am I supposed to think?’
The tears that had been pooling spilled out.
‘That’s unfair, and you know it! I never said I was in love with Alex. I liked him, but it didn’t work out.’
‘So what? You thought you’d try the next one in line?’
His words were like a punch to my heart. My mouth dropped open and it took me a moment to find my voice as I desperately tried to keep the pieces of my heart together.
‘You’re right, Charlie. I never should have said anything. I realise that now. But maybe it was a good thing because at least now I know what you really think of me. Enjoy your lunch. Try not to choke on it!’
I stepped around him and stalked off down the alleyway, all the while trying to stop his words ringing in my head. Suddenly I wished Charlie Richmond were already in New York and out of my life. Although I made a guess that the second part of that had now begun. Fishing in my bag, I pulled out my bug-eye, Audrey-Hepburn-style sunglasses and shoved them onto my face, hoping to conceal as much as possible from the world at large.
Standing looking up at the destination board, I watched the display change. The platform number for the next train to Brighton showed and a bunch of people began heading off towards it. I remained staring at the board. And then I turned and headed downstairs towards the Tube.
36
‘Darling!’ Gina threw out her arms in her usual ebullient manner of greeting, and then stopped. Reaching out with perfectly manicured, shocking-pink nails, she slid my sunglasses gently off my face. Without another word, she pulled me close in to her sizeable bosom and wrapped her arms around me. I stood there for a moment and then my shoulders started to shake. Gina made soothing sounds and ushered us both inside.
I was lying on the couch, idly tracing the flowers of its expensive chintz fabric with my finger, when Dad came in an hour later. Gina had obviously filled him in and he came straight over to me, scooched me up and gave me a big cuddle. Which set me off again.
‘He’ll come round,’ Dad said eventually as my sobs subsided once more.
‘No, he won’t. Besides, I don’t want him to come round. He said something he can’t take back.’
‘We all say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment. It’s human nature, I’m afraid. Not a great trait, but not one that’s easy to erase.’
‘I shouldn’t have told him.’
‘Do you love him?’
I didn’t even need to think about it. ‘Yes.’
‘Then it was right to tell him.’
‘Even if I’ve ruined everything?’
‘Even if that is the case.’ Dad sat me back so that he could look at me. ‘Libby. We both know you’re far too much like your mother to have ever kept this inside. You’re always bursting with things to say and feel. And Charlie knows that’s just your way, too. He knows you couldn’t have not told him. It’s just taken him by surprise.’
‘He doesn’t want me to be in love with him.’
‘Well, if that is the case, then he’s not as smart as he thinks he is.’
I gave a small, sniffly laugh. ‘Obviously.’
‘I nearly missed out on having my time with your mum because I was too much like Charlie and not enough like you.’
