‘What?’
‘I asked him.’
‘I see. And what did he say?’
‘The same as you. That you didn’t really get a lot of time, yada yada.’
‘We didn’t. And it may be old-fashioned but I have to be seeing someone for a little while before I go that far.’
Charlie made a dismissive noise. ‘Alex could charm a nun to throw her knickers in the air if he wanted to. If he’d wanted to, you’d have been toast.’
I moved and thumped him on the arm. ‘I would not! I have principles. Thank you.’
He grinned and rubbed his arm. ‘Ow, by the way. Anyway, it turned out there was more to it.’
‘There was?’
Charlie dragged a hand across his unshaven jaw. ‘Yeah. We kind of had a bit of a bust-up over it?’
‘Oh no! Oh, Charlie. I’m so sorry. I never meant any of this to come between you and Alex!’
He caught hold of one of my flapping hands and gently caressed the back of it with his thumb.
‘It’s OK. We’re good now. To be honest, it’s been building up for a while, I just don’t think either of us wanted to face it. You might have been the catalyst, but you weren’t the cause.’
‘What was the cause?’ I asked, feeling my heart rate slow at Charlie’s gentle, rhythmic touch on my skin.
‘Male ego. Too much testosterone and everything that circumstance brings along with it.’ He shook his head. ‘Ridiculous really. I was jealous of him being so capable of talking to anyone, being able to charm anyone he wanted when it’s something I’ve always struggled with. Alex, in turn, was feeling like he was second best because of the difference in our salaries, and what goes along with that. We’d both gone to the same school, had the same privileges but had just chosen different paths, which led to different things.’
‘But he loves his job!’
‘He does. But a while back there was a girl who showed interest in him when we were out together somewhere. He really liked her but part way through the evening, something came up, I don’t even remember what it was now, and she obviously realised that, as much as she thought Alex was hot and charming, he wouldn’t be able to provide her with the trinkets someone on a higher salary might. At that point, she switched allegiances.’
‘And you let her?’ I raised an eyebrow.
‘Aww, don’t look at me like that. You know me and women. I’m not exactly fluent in them. Besides, we’d all had a couple of drinks by then and, to start with, I didn’t even realise what she was doing. When I did, I made a polite excuse and extracted myself.’
‘And Alex was mad at you?’
‘We talked it over briefly and he said it didn’t matter. That he hadn’t particularly liked her anyway. He was just passing the time.’
‘And you believed him?’
‘Honestly, I’m not sure. But it was easier if I did.’
‘But? I assume there is a but?’
‘Yes. Things seemed OK and most of the time they were. But it felt like there was always this slight undercurrent of wariness. I hated it, if I’m honest. But I didn’t know how to fix things. Alex says now that he felt the same.’
‘So, what happened?’
‘You happened.’
I shifted position on the sofa, my internal feeling of being suddenly uncomfortable translating itself to my body. Charlie patiently waited for me to stop fidgeting before he continued.
‘I’d told Alex that I was helping you with your accounts and he asked about you. I kind of kept it all rather non-committal and tried to be blasé. I wasn’t even allowing myself to admit I liked you, so telling someone else? That just wasn’t going to happen.’
‘Full state of denial, then.’
