"You're a good kid, Ryan McCloud."
He loved her smile, but he didn't feel like returning it. Not right now.
"Do you really think that about me?" he asked seriously. "I mean, after all of this, do you really think I'm just some kid?"
She stepped back and looked at him, really looked at him as if she was seeing him for the first time. He wasn't sure she finally realized she had underestimated him or if she was thinking of those times when he proved to her that he was a man. And yeah, that may have been because of the sex, but he hoped it was also because she could see that he had matured these past few months.
If he was really being honest with himself, he wanted the world to see him in a different way now. If Lucy was one of those people in the world who viewed him like that, it was all the better. But he needed her to understand that he wasn't the man she met all those months ago up north. He was a changed man, a stronger man. Hewasa better man.
"I'm not a kid, Lucy. Not anymore. You don't need to worry about me."
"Well, I do worry about you."
"I can handle myself," he replied gruffly.
Lucy took another step towards him, her eyelashes fluttering, her hand reaching for his chest, her palm flattening against his muscles. His body instinctively responded as he sucked in a breath, her touch familiar and yet completely a shock to his system. He watched as she looked up at him, her eyes warm and inviting. It was so different from the last time she was here when she told him they had to spend some time apart. This time, she looked like being apart was the farthest thing from her mind. He didn't want to hope or to have his heart broken again. But if she asked for it right now, he would rip it out of his chest and give it to her.
"I worry about you because I love you, Ryan."
Her declaration made him feel like he had just been smashed into the boards by the biggest pest in professional hockey. He couldn't breathe and the room almost felt like it was spinning around him. Ryan's only option was to grab onto her shoulder, find a way to anchor himself, to focus his mind on something — or someone. His brain was giving him no other choice.
"What do you mean, you love me?"
She shrugged and gave him an awkward smile. "I love you," she said quietly. "I'm sorry. I know this is weird. I didn't think I was going to do all of this in your apartment right now. Things changed after I saw you again at that hockey game, and I had this idea to put together some grand plan to maybe win you back—"
"Win me back?"
His grip on her shoulder tightened. This wasn't how Ryan expected his night to end. He was going to finally finish this stupid chapter inNaked in Deathor whatever. Instead, he was staring down at this beautiful woman who had declared her love for him. All this time, he was trying to run away from women, to love them and then hopefully have them leave him. He had perfected a whole production with Sydney!
But now, he was in his apartment with Lucy, the woman who just told him she loved him, and the last thing he wanted was for her to leave. His brain was fried, his mind jumbled with all kinds of craziness and random ideas. But there was one constant, one thing he could focus on: Lucy Evans. Even when he didn't mean to, even when they were apart, there was still something about her. He wasn't lying when he told her that he didn't change for her. He changed for him. But he knew he could be a better man because Lucy made him see that he had that in him.
He also realized he was staring at her. He hadn't said anything yet in response, too shocked to have words come out of his mouth. He figured all of this out as Lucy pulled away from him, the smile falling from her face as she looked down awkwardly at her feet.
"Sorry, that was too much, wasn't it?" she asked. "I didn't mean to spring all this on you, and I know it's not fair of me to do that after…" She took a deep breath. "After what I told you before. Anyway, I just wanted to say that to you."
Lucy gave him a tight smile, her hand wrapping around his arm again to give it a small squeeze. Then she turned, letting his hand fall from her shoulder, and started walking toward the door. She almost made it there too. He should've let her. She was leaving a lot for him to think about. But there was something about what she said to him, about her honesty, that made Ryan hopeful. He didn't want her to leave. He couldn't let her go. Not at least without being honest with her.
"I was going to try and make this friends thing work."
She turned and gave him a small laugh, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I appreciate that," she said. "But I don't want to just be friends with you."
Ryan walked over to her, his hand instinctively reaching for her cheek. Her skin was soft under his calloused fingers, his hand rough from the start of the season. But his heart was soft and tender and it was all for her. He could try and pretend that he was still upset. He could force himself to be angry at her for the way things ended. But no matter how he acted or what he wanted to tell himself to believe, standing there in front of her, Ryan knew there was no way he could be the tough guy and fight these feelings he had for her.
He wanted Lucy — no, he needed her. The only thing he could really be mad about was that she confessed her love before he did.
Ryan pulled her close and kissed her, rough and deliberate, his emotions pouring out of him. He had to tell her in every way he could that she was his, that he was claiming her as his woman. And by the way she started to kiss him back, she was claiming him as her man and he had absolutely no problem with that. He was her Ryan and there would never be another doubt about it.
Hell, in that moment, he forgot that he ever had a doubt about that. They had been friends, sure. They were once just acquaintances. But from the moment he opened the door of that cabin without a shirt on, seeing a flustered Lucy Evans asking him to move his truck, there was a part of him that knew there was only one outcome for them. It was this one. Lucy kissing him, warm and soft in his apartment, telling him that she wanted him. That she loved him.
And he loved her.
He was the first one to finally pull away, his breathing heavy, his arm holding her soft body against his.
"Please don't go," he pleaded quietly.
"I won't."
She kissed him again and again and again until he couldn't stand up straight and had to drag her to his bedroom. There were so many things he missed about her. The way she laughed, the face she made when she was concentrating on work. She would ask him questions that no other woman would ask him, make him think about things that no other woman inspired him to think about. But the sex was still pretty damn hot and he also missed that about her.
And when they were finished and naked in his bed, their bodies intertwined, their legs twisted together, she rested her head on his chest. She told him she loved him and he told her that he loved her too. And when he said he was going to stay up just a little later to finally — finally — finish the chapter he had been working on, she just smiled, snuggled closer, and fell asleep in his arms.
