“Answer the question.”
“Because I couldn’t bring myself to break your heart. I know you, Zoy. You would have started being different. I don’t give a fuck how it happened, you my sister… always been my sister.”
“I’m your aunt.”
He paced the small area. “This is why we didn’t want to tell you. Ever since we were younger, you always asked questions of you being different than us. I never paid it attention because you were dramatic as fuck, Zoya.”
“Not dramatic.”
“You are and none of us give a fuck because that’s what makes you Zoya.”
I folded my arms. “I am not dramatic.”
“Put it on Roxie,” he challenged.
I focused my attention out the window. “I really don’t feel like swearing on dead dogs today.”
Landon laughed. “I missed you, bro. Who am I going to send stupid videos to, or call when I’m bored?”
“You are hardly bored anymore… you too busy.”
“Never too busy to talk to my sister. I care, Z… I never want something to happen to you. My approach was fucked up, and I apologize. Just been worried about you.”
I messed with my nails and faced my brother. “I wouldn’t have kept that away from you… no matter who I pissed off, I would have told you.”
“I can’t even say nothing personal because this shit is very personal. If I could go back, I would have told you. Not giving a fuck about what Kora and Menace told me.”
I smiled. “Thanks.”
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He opened the sunroom door and was staring at something. “You see that? The fuck?” He continued to squint, and I rushed over to see what he saw.
He pulled me into a bear hug and pulled me outside in the pouring rain. “Donnnnn!” I screamed as the rain soaked us instantly.
“Say you love me, and you forgive me,” he demanded, holding me in place, forcing me to say what he wanted.
“I refuse!” I screamed, the edge control burning my eyes as it slid down my face.
“Say it, Zoya Bean!” He teased me while tickling me.
“I love you and forgive you… damn!”
I laughed so hard my stomach ached, as he released me and we held hands and jumped around in the rain. It brought meback to the days at our old house. Whenever it rained, we would run to the backyard and jump around, while Angie watched us from the kitchen.
Back then, things were so dark and sad. If I had associated a color to that memory, it would be gray. Felt like we were all moving through this cloud of gray smoke, just trying to get through.
For that small moment in the rain, Landon and I felt joy. We didn’t care about the dirt or anything. All we cared about was the joy that was building up in our chests as we chased each other in the rain.
I held my arms out while spinning around, my head back and eyes closed while my tears mixed in with the rain pelting down on my face.
When I opened my eyes, Menace was standing on the balcony of his bedroom. He was staring directly at me and Landon, as we embraced the rain and the mud that accumulated on our feet.
“That’s how he started fucking with that mud!” Menace yelled from the balcony. “Eating it too.”
“I ain’t never ate mud, bitch!” Landon busted out laughing.
Menace had this look on his face that I don’t think I had ever seen before. It wasn’t his usual scowl.
