“Why not?” I asked.
“It’s just-I’m just-Look. I’m a mess right now. I’m trying to figure a lot of shit out, and I’m not very good company. You and me—that would just complicate things. Especially since you work at the lodge.”
I blew out the breath I had been holding. “I see.”
“And I don’t want to lead you on or anything. Believe me. I’ve learned my lesson with that.”
“So, you didn’t like it?” I practically whispered. I hated myself for needing his approval, but this was my first interaction with a man other than Garrett in years, and he was hurting my ego.
“Fuck—no. That’s not what I meant. Look, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about doing that for a while now. But that isn’t the point. The point is that we shouldn’t be doing that. It’s not any good for either of us.”
My heart started to beat faster at his words. He’d been thinking about doing that for a while? It wasn’t just me?
He knocked on the table a few times with his fist before announcing, “I should get going. Stay inside, okay?”
He started to move toward the door before I jumped up to stop him. “Wait,” I pleaded, grabbing his arm.
Raising his eyebrows, he stared down at me.
“What if it’s not such a bad idea?” I licked my lips and stared hungrily at his mouth.
“Mattie.”
“Giles, we’re both adults. And we both want this, right?” I took a step closer to him. He didn’t back away. “Maybe we’re both trying to figure things out right now, but this doesn’t have to be one of those things.”
“What are you saying?” his voice was thick, and the tension between us was palpable.
“I want you. Let’s forget about everything else for now.”
He bit his lip, still looking unsure but also not backing away from me. “I can’t Mattie. Trust me. I wish I could.”
I frowned and backed away from him. “I get it. You’re right.”
He stood there staring at me for another moment before shaking his head. “I better get going.”
“Right, of course. Get home safe.”
“Just…just text me if you need anything.”
He turned away and exited through the door.
I groaned and cradled my head in my hands. I had practically begged him to make a move and he had rejected me. I cursed myself for being so resistible. Before I had a chance to wallow in my self-pity more, another knock sounded trough the apartment.
My heart slammed against my chest as I cautiously approached the door. I swung it open to reveal Giles standing there, his eyes dark.
“Fuck it,” he said before bringing his hands to the back of my neck and pulling me in, covering my mouth with his.
My hands went straight to his hair. I raked my fingers through his messy waves.
He kissed me slowly at first then with growing need as he slammed the door behind him and backed me into the table. I gasped as he took his hands off my face and placed them at the backs of my thighs before hoisting me on top of the table. Grabbing at his thick jacket, I pushed it off his shoulders before he took his hands away from me for a moment to shrug it off.
I wrapped my legs around his torso, eager to pull myself even closer and feel his body against mine. When he grabbed my waist and yanked me toward him, I felt his arousal pressing into me, and I moaned against his mouth. It had been too long since I had been touched like this.
Warm hands moved from my lower back to the front of my sweater as Giles lifted it up and tugged it over my stomach. I lifted my arms, and he tore it off me, leaving me completely bare since I hadn’t been wearing a bra.
“Fuck,” he said as his eyes slowly roamed over my body. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”
I gasped as his mouth moved to my neck, and his hands drew slow circles on my stomach just below my breast. He gently caressed the bottom of one, and I threw my head back, almost undone by the smallest brush of his fingertips.
