Rachel paused her pacing. “She’s right. You don’t look like yourself.”
I inhaled a shaky breath. Brady said I couldn’t tell them everything, but I didn’t have to completely lie either.
“I’m just nervous. I-I’m not so sure it’s going to work out between Eli and I after all.”
I held back tears as Trace touched my arm. Brady would absolutely kill me if I started crying and ruined this makeup. There was no way the sobs I wanted to let out right now could be mistaken for happy tears.
“Hey, don’t sweat it, okay?” Rachel said gently. “At least it’s all about to be over. But I hope you’re wrong, for your sake. I don’t know what happened between you two, and nothing is ever easy when it comes to love, but the way Eli looks at you doesn’t come around often. Trust me. It’s worth fighting for.”
Before I could respond, Brady poked his head through the door.
“Alright, ladies. Showtime.”
I felt like a cow being lined up for slaughter as he led us through the lounge and out the patio door.
The crew must have worked all night to transform this space. Flower arches were everywhere; I wasn’t even sure where they could have possibly found this many roses in such a remote area. They lined us all up next to each other on a short podium draped with white fabric. I stood at the end, with Trace next to me. She reached down and squeezed my hand. “You got this,” she whispered.
I squeezed back. “You too.”
Normally, I would have slipped my hand out of her grasp immediately, but I was grateful she held on. Because at that moment, the guys walked in and lined up across from us. Trace’s hand might have been the only thing keeping me from falling over when I laid eyes on Eli.
I didn’t want to look at him, but my gaze was pulled to him like a magnet. He looked devastatingly good, dressed in a snugly-fit dark gray suit. The white shirt he wore underneath his blazer wasn’t fully buttoned. His hair was gelled back, but a few curls still poked through, framing his face.
His intense stare at me was unwavering, a question in his eyes. He smiled, but it faded quickly when I didn’t return the gesture.
Shoot. I wasn’t acting normal at all.
In an attempt to save face, I forced a half-smile and gave him a small wave. After he found his mark on the opposite side of the patio, he looked at me again, still unsure. But finally, he winked at me, seeming to have accepted my small gesture of normalcy. Hopefully, he’d just chalk up my weird energy to nerves. I mean, he wouldn’t be entirely wrong. He just didn’t know what was causing them.
“Alright, bring out Rita!” Shay shouted, as the cameras turned toward the door. The host sashayed out in a golden mini dress and grinned at us all.
“Can you believe it’s finally here?” Rita acted as if we hadbonded through this experience, when in reality we had never spoken outside of her on-camera addresses to us. “I’m so proud of each and every one of you. You’ve really come a long way since we first started this journey. But now, as all good things do, this must come to an end.”
I focused on the mountain horizon behind the guys to steady myself. Brady had already warned me that Eli and I would give our speeches last, which meant I had to stay calm and upright for at least a little while longer.
Rita droned on for what felt like forever, uttering cliché after cliché about finding love and finding ourselves. I could feel someone’s stare burning into me and I knew it must be Eli’s.
Was it strange that I couldn’t look at him? How would I be acting if I hadn’t just overheard his life-altering betrayal? The cameras always made me stiff and uncomfortable, I finally decided. He would just think I was anxious to get it all over with.
“Grant, Sofia,” Rita announced. “Please step forward and share your final words with each other.”
Sofia stepped forward with a flip of her hair. She gave a short and sassy speech about how, despite her best efforts, nothing was there for her. When she ended her speech with “Sorry, none of the guys in here were man enough for me.” The guys all laughed good-naturedly.
Then it was Grant’s turn.
He threw on a cocky grin before starting to speak. “I’m grateful I came here, even if it was the last thing I expected. Maybe I didn’t meet a potential love, but I did come out of here with some friends.” He winked at me. Something about the small gesture caused me to relax a little, and crack my first real smile since yesterday. He continued on with the rest of hisspeech and even managed to keep it semi-appropriate by only including one dirty joke.
Then it was Rachel and Arnie’s turn.
To my surprise, Rachel’s hands shook as she lifted the piece of paper with her speech. Arnie looked down at her reassuringly. An unexpected pang hit me in the chest. Seeing them so happy together just reminded me that I hadn’t found my person. It had all been a lie.
“I know I have a hard exterior,” Rachel started. “And I may not be the easiest person to love. But you saw right through that—damnit,” she hissed as she wiped a tear away.
Arnie chuckled and grabbed her free hand.
“You’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever known. My entire life, I’ve been told I’m too tough, but you didn’t let that scare you off. And you never asked me to change. Instead, you embraced who I am. You make me want to be better. Hell, you even make robotics sound interesting.”
A laugh escaped me as Arnie’s ears turned pink. “What I’m trying to say is, I thought there was no way in hell that I’d ever meet someone in here. But I’m so glad you proved me wrong.”
