Arnie leaned forward and kissed her forehead before pulling out his own piece of paper.
“Rachel, when I first got here, I was scared of getting hurt again. I thought I was unlovable. But I’m so grateful to the friends I’ve made in here, and most importantly to you, for proving me wrong. You’re strong, you’re funny, you’re kind and generous, even though you try your hardest to hide that side. And I’m so excited to see what’s next for us.”
Rachel beamed up at him and he leaned in for a sweet kiss.
My cheeks felt damp and I reached up to dab a few tears away. I chanced a glance at Eli, then wished I hadn’t. He wasstill staring at me intently. After the revelation yesterday, I tried my hardest to find something different in his eyes—the lie that I had missed before. But even as I searched for it, I came up empty.
Trace and Danny walked up next, Trace with her head high and Danny with sagging shoulders. He swallowed before starting to speak.
“Trace. I’m so glad I met you. I-I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” She visibly stiffened, but he carried on. “Being near you is like a getting a dose of pure sunlight.” His jaw tensed as he continued. Trace just stood there stoically. “But I’m not right for you. I could never be what you need—what you deserve. We would never work out in the end, and for that I’ll always be sorry.”
Trace inhaled calmly. She was the only one of us not holding a piece of paper. When she opened her eyes, there was pure fire there.
“No.I’msorry, Danny. Sorry you’re such a coward. I would have never trusted you with my heart if I’d known you couldn’t handle it.”
Without saying anything more, she walked off. Danny reached out as if to stop her but pulled back. The pain in his features was evident, but he still retreated back to his spot on the mat.
Rita laughed awkwardly. “Well, that was certainly emotionally charged,” she said, as she attempted to keep the ball rolling. “Last but not least, Calla and Eli. Please step forward.”
Surely everyone must be able to hear my heart thudding inside my chest. The paper shook in my hands as I took the few steps forward to the center of the makeshift stage. Eli beat me there with his longer strides. I tried not to flinch when he gave me an encouraging look.
“Don’t be nervous. Pretend it’s just me,” he whispered.
Gulping, I nodded while averting my eyes. Little did he know, he was the only reason I was anxious right now.
When Eli took my hand in his, I was almost disappointed that my body didn’t automatically recoil in disgust. Instead, I felt comfort. Despite everything, I still wanted him on some level. And I felt weak for that.
He squeezed my hand. “I’m right here,” he whispered, clearly sensing my nervous energy.
Finally, it was time.
He cleared his throat and looked down at what he’d written. “I was probably the person least excited about this little experiment. Well, second-least excited if you count the person who literally sprinted out of the room that first day.” Hushed laughter floated across the room as I bit back tears. Had he even written this himself? I wasn’t sure what to believe anymore.
“But after my first conversation with you, Calla, I knew something was different. You immediately saw beyond the me that everyone thinks they know. You asked me real questions, and I felt myself starting to open up for the first time. And then you rejected me.”
More laughter.
“But in all seriousness, I knew you were afraid. Afraid to open up. Afraid of getting hurt. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was afraid of those things too. But once I started to get to know you, there was no going back for me. From the moment you first smiled at me, I was in way too deep.” He shot me a nervous glance. “You’re everything I never knew I needed, and I feel so damn lucky to be in your orbit. I can’t wait to see what’s next for us.”
I blew out a breath and gulped, knowing I should reciprocate something. But all I could muster was a pathetic nod.
Then it was my turn.
“Eli.” His name tasted bitter. “You’re right, I was scared. When I came into this experience, I was afraid of everything. Even myself. You practically forced me to open up, and I have learned a lot about myself here. I learned I’m stronger than I thought. And I learned that my life is still just getting started, and if I don’t change something, it’ll pass me by.” I paused, hoping to still the unsteadiness in my voice. “I’ll forever be grateful that this experience brought me those lessons.”
Eli’s eyebrows pinched together, obviously confused by my cryptic choice of words.
“And now, more than ever, I’m finally ready to move on. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I’m not scared of it anymore.”
Eli searched my face, a puzzled expression on his own. When he leaned down to plant a kiss on my forehead, I let him. Again, my body didn’t recoil from his touch. It welcomed it. Despite everything, it was going to be very difficult for me to let go of him.
Rita had us all line back up. The cameras did a sweeping shot of all our faces as they built suspense before announcing the winner.
Brady had also prepared me for this. Confetti would drop. I’d go to meet Eli in the middle. We’d hug and then they’d call cut.
And that’s exactly what happened. From the moment Rita announced “Eli and Calla” in a booming voice, I felt like I was in someone else’s body as I walked stiffly to the middle of the patio. Eli swept me up in his arms. He seemed so happy. If last night had never happened, I would have thought I was the reason for his happiness. That we’d gotten through this show and were going to start a life together.
Now I knew, it was all for him.
