“So, you basically manipulated the show to become my partner,” I said softly.
“Because you were the only person I wanted to talk to.” He blew out a breath. “I know how it looks, but I didn’t chase after you because of them. I swear, Calla, I didn’t know much, but I knew I wanted to know you. And once I started, I couldn’t stop.”
I took a sip of my coffee just to have something to do other than stare into Eli’s desperate eyes.
“I just find it hard to believe your intentions were always pure,” I admitted.
“Everything I ever said to you was true. I swear.” Eli set his coffee down on the table between us and leaned forward.
I lifted a brow. “So, you were never planning on taking your father up on his offer?”
Eli winced at that. “After I had started to fall for you, I figured what was the harm in taking his money too. I didn’t really think about how it would make you feel, I just thought...I just thought, my dad hasn’t actually been a father to me for my entire life. The least he could do was help me with this.”
My chest tightened. “And that’s where it gets a little bit hard for me to believe you. To understand which lines you were blurring.”
“I get that now,” Eli promised. “I should have never let you run off set that last day. It still haunts me. Keeps me up at night.” He frowned at the memory. “But when you said it was all an act, that I was acting. It hurt. You’ve been the only person I’ve ever let in, and my inferiority complex was still screaming at me that I’d never be enough. So to hear that youthought I’d faked it, that I really was this piece of shit everyone else believed me to be, I couldn’t handle it. It stung like the most searing pain I’d ever experienced.”
“I was hurting. I wasn’t sure what to believe,” I murmured, not wanting to think about that fight.
Eli looked pained. “I know that now. I should have realized it then. Any hurt I was feeling, you were feeling ten times worse. But I’d thought that it was us against the world, or something. I felt so strongly about you—so sure we’d make it—that I took it all for granted. I thought you might be upset when I told you everything, but I never imagined I’d lose you.”
“And I never imagined being so betrayed by someone who I cared so much about,” I said.
“I know. And I’d give anything to go back and erase all the pain. All the hurt. I would take it all away if I could. But I can’t. And now all I can do is beg you to give me another chance to move past this.”
His eyes locked on mine. “I didn’t take my father’s money. It means nothing to me. I could have filmed this movie anywhere, but I needed to be close to you. I’ve gone my whole life without knowing you, yet now being separated from you—I can’t handle it. I know how afraid you are to trust me, but I can promise you I will do everything in my power to never hurt you again, Calla.”
My eyes misted over as he laid himself bare before me.
“Please,” he begged. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The only good thing, really. I can’t let you slip through my fingers.”
“It should be so easy to say yes,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I’ve missed you so much.”
He grabbed my hand. “Then please say yes. Please. I will never make it hard for you to trust me again.”
Despite his earnestness ripping a hole right through my heart, the impenetrable guard I’d carefully built up did not crumble.I swallowed thickly and shook my head, trying not to cry. “I just can’t.”
His expression became frantic. “Please. I can’t lose you. Not for real.”
“You already did.” I pulled my hand from his and stood, grabbing my bag. “I’m sorry, Eli. I do forgive you. But I think moving on, for me, means moving on from this, too.”
“No,” he pleaded, standing as well. “You’re pushing me out again, you’re?—”
“I have to do what’s right for me,” I said, tears streaming down my cheeks. “Just let it go.”
He let out a sharp breath before shaking his head. “Never.”
Then I turned and hurried away.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Weeks later,I sat with my literary agent in a conference room at my publisher’s office.
“Earth to Calla.” Barbara snapped her fingers.
I had been staring out the large window at the dreary Chicago weather. The skyscrapers towered ominously over the foggy streets below. They looked like monsters.
“Sorry,” I said, ripping my eyes away. “What were you saying?”
