Maybe that was the point of these dreams. To remind me that we would never get anywhere together, ever again.
I squeezed my eyes shut and begged my body to drift back to sleep, but it was pointless.
Leaving my bed behind, I jumped in the shower to rinse off before putting on a fresh sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. The door of my suite summoned me. The thought of stepping outside the room filled me with a mix of nerves and anticipation.
After our conversation outside today, Eli had told me thathe’d likely be up again tonight, if I needed company. Then we had gone back inside and spent the rest of the night talking to the group, or being pulled aside for interviews. Unfortunately, Sofia kept the drama high. She kept throwing Eli heated looks, or telling me he’d just break my heart and that we were a mess together. Eli had watched me worriedly while she droned on, but little did he know she wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t already told myself. But the thought of seeing him right now still excited me in ways I didn’t want to process.
I stepped into the hallway. He wasn’t there—of course he wasn’t—but I wasn’t quite sure where to find him, either. I walked quietly down the hall, toward the kitchen. I saw and heard no signs of life. Maybe he wasn’t even awake. Maybe he had exaggerated when he’d said he couldn’t sleep every night.
When I turned the corner that led to the small sitting area in front of the kitchen, however, I found him lounging on a small sofa, feet up on a footstool and staring out the window. Moonlight illuminated his face, casting a subtle glow across his features.
I cleared my throat so I wouldn’t startle him.
He looked over at me. “I was hoping I might see you,” he said, patting the seat next to his.
I sank in beside him, just close enough that I could smell whatever intoxicating cologne or shampoo he used.
“You were hoping I’d have another nightmare and not be able to sleep?” I teased.
He dipped his head, smiling. “I was hoping to have some company, the rest is just an unfortunate side effect.”
“How long have you been out here?” I asked, curling my feet underneath me.
“Maybe an hour. I tried to sleep, but it just feels like a nap and then I’m wide awake.”
We sat there, watching the moon for a while. It looked sopeaceful out there—nothing like the lights and bustle I saw outside my own window in Chicago. But this serene setting wasn’t doing anything to lull me to sleep right now. Eli’s proximity had my pulse elevated and my stomach fluttering. I hadn’t felt like this since high school when I’d met Michael. The feeling was kind of addictive, if I was being honest with myself.
Eli blew out a breath. “We should probably talk about that game today,” he finally said.
The fluttering in my stomach only increased. “What about it?” I tried to sound casual, like I didn’t even know why he might want to have the conversation.
“Our answers were a bit...different.” He eyed me, trying to gauge my reaction.
“I guess so.”
He leaned forward as if trying to draw the words out of me. “And that didn’t make you feel any certain way?”
“Not really,” I lied.
“Calla,” he said in a stern voice that I wished I didn’t like as much as I did.
“Fine,” I relented, playing with the checkered fabric of the pillow on the couch. “Maybe I found your answers a little...overwhelming.” There. That felt like a safe word choice.
A frown creased his forehead. “Overwhelming? How?”
“Do we really have to talk about this?” I closed my eyes in embarrassment.
“Yes,” he said simply.
“Fine,” I huffed. “It’s just you obviously have a lot more experience than I do. I already knew that we were pretty different and today just confirmed it.”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “I have more experience in allthe ways that don’t matter. You have more experience in all the ways that do.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Love. Commitment. I don’t know anything about it.”
“Yeah, that kind of took me by surprise too,” I said. Because if Eli had managed to go all this time without falling in love, there was no way someone like me was going to be the exception.
