“Now, though...now I kind of wish I had pushed myself more. I never found myself after I got lost in him, so now that he’s gone, I’m just... lost.”
Eli kept all of his focus trained on me.
I laughed sadly. “That probably doesn’t make any sense.”
“It makes perfect sense,” he said, “Calla, I…” But he didn’t continue his thought. Instead, he moved closer to me until his face was only inches from mine.
The sudden proximity had my heart pounding. His lips were so close I could just reach out and kiss them.
But I hadn’t kissed anyone since Michael. I wasn’t even sure I remembered how.
Eli’s gaze dropped to my lips and I tried not to let myself get distracted by how good he smelled.
Right before I thought I would surely combust from the heat of his stare, I jumped up and took a step back. “I should probably get to bed.”
Eli rose too, and took a tentative step toward me. “Calla?—”
“Sorry, I’m really tired all of a sudden.” My unsteady voice completely betrayed me, but I didn’t care. I was freaking out and I needed space. Now.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said before walking down the hall. Well, more like an awkward jog-walk.
As soon as I was safely in my room I fell back onto my bed and groaned, holding my face in my hands.
He had been on the brink of kissing me, I could tell. It was the most intimate conversation I’d had with anyone in what felt like an eternity. And he wasn’t even uncomfortable that I’d overshared. No, instead he had wanted to get even closer tome. By kissing me. And what did I do? I bolted. That seemed to be a pattern for me on this show.
I willed my spiraling mind to calm down.
Even though Eli gave me butterflies, and even though every word that came out of his mouth dripped sincerity, I still needed to be careful. I couldn’t deal with having my heart broken the first time I put myself back out there.
And, let’s be real. Eli was the perfect candidate to completely shatter me into a million pieces.
Chapter Thirteen
“How’d you sleep?”Trace asked, as I slumped onto a dining chair and poured myself a cup of coffee. Only she and Danny had arrived at breakfast so far.
“Oh, you know. Got five hours last night, so I’ll call it an improvement.” After I had left Eli, I had lain awake for hours before finally falling asleep.
“I’ve been sleeping like a baby ever since I got here. I think it’s all that mountain air.” Danny stretched and casually slung an arm across the back of Trace’s chair.
They were already so comfortable with each other. I envied it a little bit. For all the sparks I felt with Eli, I wouldn’t use the word ‘comfortable’ to describe whatever it was that we had.
“Get out of here, you two lovebirds. You’re making me sick,” Rachel said playfully as she walked into the room and sat in the seat opposite mine.
Trace giggled and Danny flashed her an irritated glare.
Arnie walked in next, followed by Eli, and my skin tingledat the mere sight of him. Without hesitation, Eli took the empty seat to my left.
“Morning,” he whispered. “Hope you slept better than I did.”
My lip turned up. “Not likely.”
As we started piling food onto our plates, I caught Arnie’s eye. He nodded between Eli and me before winking. I gave a subtle shake of my head, refusing to play into this narrative that Eli and I were somehow meant to be.
Eli nudged my shoulder. “How’s the hand?”
Holding my bandaged hand out in front of me, I flexed it a few times for good measure. It still stung a little, but the pain was completely manageable. “It’s fine.”
“Good thing it was your left. Couldn’t have anything affect your ability to write.”
