As we rode down the mountain, I felt more alive than ever. Not because of the rush or the speed, but because of the way my knees were firmly locked around Frankie’s hips. With our countdown reduced from days to hours, I made every excuse to touch her and have her as close to me as possible. Tomorrow was going to absolutely gut me, and I knew Frankie wasn’t fairing much better. But true to her word, she’d kept up a genuine smile nearly all day.
If I was being honest with myself, I was kind of worried how I was going to handle tonight. The last time I’d get to hold her in bed. The last time I’d hear her soft breathing next to my ear as she fell asleep right before I did. I shook the thought from my mind and focused instead on the beautiful scenery surrounding us and Frankie’s delighted laughs.
My chest swelled when we got to the bottom and she begged to go again.
There was a lightness about her that wasn’t there when she’d first arrived in Key Ridge, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride in playing a small part in the change in her. She’d changed me, too, of course. Despite this thing between us being temporary, her impact on me was permanent.
The only problem was that after our goodbye, I wasn’t so sure what I was supposed to do with this newfound reflection of myself.
We rode down a couple more times. The last time, she went solo and slowed down so much, I ended up riding her tail. When I called out to remind her that she had nothing to be scared of, she turned and yelled back, “It’s not about being scared, it’s about enjoying the view!”
Damn it if that didn’t make me even more obsessed with her than I already was.
After the rides were over and we got back into my car, I grabbed her hand and brought it to my lips, kissing it.
“Thanks for today. It was perfect,” she said, looking beautiful with her hair wild and going in every direction.
“Can I drive you to the airport tomorrow?” The question fell from my lips, and I regretted it as soon as I saw her smile fade.
“That might be too hard, I think.”
Her answer killed me, but I understood it all the same. It was going to be hard regardless of when the final goodbye happened. That still didn’t stop me from wanting to drag out every moment with her—steal every last second like it was all I had.
I put the car into reverse and pulled away from the lot at the base of the mountain coaster.
“What would we do right now if we were the most carefree people in the world?” I asked her, rolling down both of our windows.
She squinted into the distance before offering, “Ice cream?”
“Ice cream it is.”
Later that night,I held her in my arms, tighter than I ever had before. My mind raced relentlessly.
First, it replayed every memory Frankie and I had made together in our short time here. From that first kiss at the bar, to her failed attempt at snowboarding, to sleeping in a tent underneath the stars together.
I had imagined Key Ridge would be an unforgettable experience filled with incredible outdoor activities and one extreme sport after another. Reflecting back on it all, it would have been nothing without her.
My thoughts drifted to her in New York. Wearing somebusiness-casual outfit and holding a to-go coffee mug as she raced to her new office. It was a side of Frankie I had never known, but that was the real her, apparently. She’d go on to have this perfect life that had nothing to do with me. She’d go apartment hunting. She’d find her new favorite restaurant. She’d meet new people. She’ddate. I grimaced at the thought. She was still wrapped in my arms, and I still found myself being preemptively jealous of the next guy who would get to hold her like this.
She wasmyfucking girl.
Letting her go would be the hardest thing I’d ever done. My mind was starting to grow blank—forgetting every reason we couldn’t be together. Was changing for a girl really the end of the world?
I attempted to picture myself in New York, showing up in a polo and khakis to an interview for some entry-level office job that I likely wouldn’t land due to lack of experience. My entire being repelled that idea. But an idea my body found even more objectionable was never holding Frankie again.
I was in love with this girl.
There was no use in trying to deny the fact, especially within my own brain. Even though I had zero experience when it came to these things, I knew she was everything. Love wasn’t something you could block out. Maybe I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it was there.
What was that old saying? If you loved something, let it go.
And unfortunately, I loved Frankie so much that I would indeed be letting her go tomorrow.
The driveback to her sister’s house the next morning was quiet. Our fingers were loosely threaded together, resting in my lap. I kept sneaking glances at her, only to find her staring at me each time.
She was right not to let me drive her to the airport. This alone was already too difficult.
The goodbye had to happen sometime.
