“You guys will visit, right?” I asked, stepping over to Giles and giving him a short embrace.
“Definitely,” he said. “Just let us know when you get settled.” He gave me a few short pats on the back. “And you get back here too. Seriously, whenever you want, even if it’s just for the weekend.”
“Wow, you aren’t sick of me?” I joked, stepping away from him.
He shrugged, smirking. “I mean, I didn’t say come back for anotherextendedvisit, but…”
“I promise I have no plans to live in your basement again any time soon,” I assured him.
With my last goodbyes being said, I had no choice but to climb into the passenger seat of Mattie’s car. Part of me wished it was Oliver’s car, but the intense ache in my chest assured me that I had made the right call not letting him drive me. I could barely think about him without completely breaking down.
Mattie got into the car and pulled away from the house. I watched it dreamily through the window, giving one last wave to Giles and Bev, who remained in the driveway.
“This is so much harder than I thought it’d be,” I said, as she pulled away from her street and onto the main road.
“It doesn’t have to be.” Mattie glanced over at me. “You don’t have to go.”
Her simple sentence set me off once again. Waterworks flowed from my eyes. I opened the glovebox in search of a tissue only to find a crumpled brown napkin. I took it and blew my nose into the rough material.
“Why would you say that right now?” I wailed.
To Mattie’s credit, she didn’t back down. “Because itdoesn’t have to be like this. I know not every decision in life is going to be the easy one, but don’t you think chasing your dream shouldn’t be this hard?”
“It’s hard because ofhim,” I said, knowing she’d know what I meant.
“Which is why I think you’re going in the wrong direction.”
“I can’t believe you’re trying to talk me into not goingon the wayto the airport.”
I could hardly believe the gall of my sister. Didn’t she know the kind of internal warfare I was already facing? The last thing I needed was for her to pile on the doubt too.
“I think you’re making a mistake,” she said.
“I can’t upturn my life for some guy! Who do you think I am?”
“It’s not forsomeguy, it’s for your happiness!”
I blew my nose loudly and my body heaved again. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I love him,” I blurted out.
Mattie’s mouth fell open, and she looked from me back to the road. “Oh my God. Frankie, what? Are you serious? Did you tell him?”
I shook my head. “That would just make things worse.”
“He needs to know.”
“I think he already does,” I admitted. While we hadn’t exchanged the words, actions spoke louder. The care with which we treated each other—the pain in our goodbye. It could only mean one thing.
Mattie let out a loud huff. “I can’t believe you’re about to get on a plane and leave without telling him that.”
“What good would it do?”
“Ugh!” Mattie drug a hand over her face. “You have no idea how badly I want to turn this car around and drive you straight to him.”
“It’s already over,” I said, the words hollow. “Once I get to New York, this wound, or whatever it is, will slowly start to heal. I’ll kick ass at my new job and all will be right with the world.”
Mattie sighed. “I really doubt that.” Her voice was defeated, but I couldn’t let her doubt infiltrate my mind. I needed to get on that flight.
This whole experience was like ripping off a Band-Aid. The sting would linger, but it would only get better the faster I did it.
