“Good morning to you as well,” she tuts, making her way behind the bar, grabbing a tray as she goes. She collects the dirty glasses, chinking them together as she continues to hum away, pissing me off further.
“For fuck’s sake, Hazel,” I shout across the room before standing and making my way to the kitchen.
“Well, you’re all rainbows and sunshine this morning, aren’t you?”
I swing open the kitchen door, and the smell of coffee fills my nostrils first, then I see her sitting at the table. Her eyes are puffy, and she glances at me briefly before looking back down to her coffee.
“Morning,” I mumble.
Nothing. Just silence. I place a mug under the coffee machine and turn to look at her, resting my back against the kitchen side. She looks tired, bags bunching under her eyes. The sadness in her face reminds me of the first night I met her, and I scold myself that this time, I’m the one responsible for putting it there. A lump forms in my throat.
“You sleep okay?” I croak, my voice hoarse.
She stares into her coffee, not even looking up at me. She blows gently across her cup and closes her eyes, inhaling the scent. I turn and begin making my coffee, letting out a loud sigh.
“I’m sorry, Belle. I just . . .” I hear the door shut, and when I turn around, I find an empty chair where she was sitting moments ago. Her half-drunk coffee cup left on the table.Fuck, how the hell am I supposed to put this shit right if she won’t even talk to me? I take out the sugar from the cupboard above, slamming the door shut, hearing the cups chinking together. I shake my head.
“Alright, brother.” Rock pats me on the back. Lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t even hear him come in. I nod, not trusting myself to talk. “She’ll come round,” he says, taking out a mug.
“I fucked up, Rock. I’ve never fucking felt like this about someone before. I made a vow never to get involved with another woman after what happened with my brother, and yet here I am like a fucking fish outta water.”
“Man, you don’t need to tell me. Look at how I was with Red. She made me crazy.” I nod, remembering how he fell for her and Meli with no warning.
“Fuck, I need to ride,” I say, throwing my coffee down the drain. I need to feel the road beneath my wheels, with nothing but my own thoughts to decipher.
Chapter Thirteen
Bella
I sit outside the club with Rochelle and Red. I find comfort in their company, and they keep my mind off Clay and everything else going on in my life. I haven’t spoken to him for a couple of days. I mean, he’s tried more than once, but the girls were right, I needed time to figure things out in my own head without him clouding my judgement. That doesn’t mean I haven’t found it impossible when he’s been near, although he’s spent a lot of time on his bike.
Red explained that’s how Clay deals with things. He may have his brothers, but a lot of his time thinking is spent out.
Apparently, before he joined the MC, he was a lone rider. He still spends a lot of time on the road alone when something’s bothering him. Speaking to the ladies has helped me understand a lot about the ways of the club, and I’ve learned more about Clay from them than he has divulged himself.
The longer I spend here, the more I realise how much I like it. It’s the first time in forever that I’ve felt like I belong. Growing up, I felt out of place in my own home, so sitting here on a sunny afternoon with people I’ve come to know as friends, shows me what life should be about. I thought I was happy with Liam, but little did I know back then, it was just comfort. He showed me love and affection, but it always came at a cost. I grew up knowing I wasn’t loved, so the minute he showed me the smallest ounce of affection, I thought that was what true love was. What I hadn’t realised was that he was as toxic as my mother—he was just better at hiding the fact.
Red laughs at something Rochelle says, and it brings my attention back to the here and now.
“You okay there, Bella?” Rochelle asks with a look of concern etched across her features.
“Mmhmm.” I smile, looking out across the courtyard. “Was just thinking.”
“About?” Red interjects.
“Everything, really.” She looks concerned, and I laugh. “I’m okay. I’m not going to fall apart on you again.”
There’s a low rumble of a motorbike in the distance, and I look up to see Clay pulling up.
“Well, maybe I spoke too soon,” I grumble as they follow my line of sight.
Rochelle leans forward. “Don’t give in. Remember what we said. You start giving in now, he’ll think he runs the show,” she whispers before leaning back into her chair.
I watch as he climbs off his bike, his kutte clinging to him. He strides the steps, and before I know it, he’s stood beside me. The smell of his cologne fills my senses, and I close my eyes and inhale deeply. A sense of ease washes over me but Rochelle’s words ring through my mind. He leans in closer.Stay strong, Bella.
“Can we talk?” he murmurs.
“No—” Rochelle replies before I can respond. I wink in her direction, letting her know I’ve got this. I have to start somewhere.
