He exhales a breath and slower than with the other girls; he moves deliberately as he grabs my wrist and twirls me, so my back is to his chest. My skin erupts in electricity at every point of contact. His arms envelop me; one banded around my chest, the other around my waist. I gasp as a shiver works through my body and heat pools in my core. His hard body presses against me.
My mind goes completely blank, and I forget what we’re supposed to be doing here until his low voice whispers in my ear. “Fight back.”
We’re both breathing hard when I try to move against him by moving my hips side to side, trying to gain purchase to no avail. I push back into him, and he lets out a low growl. “Come on, try to get out of my hold.” I kick back, making contact with his shin and stomping on his foot, but it’s not enough to make him even flinch.
“Remember, use whatever you can to get loose; you don’t need to be pretty or finessed. Don’t worry about hurting me.”
My mind races with ideas of what I could possibly do when Aidan’s voice creeps into my head.You’re fucking useless. Stupid bitch, can’t get anything right. So weak. Such a disappointment.
What if that’s true? What if the only thing I can do is look pretty? Jackson must be assuming I can’t get out because he loosens his grip, and I hang my head in embarrassment as tears cloud my vision.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothes while gently tipping my head up with a finger under my chin, forcing eye contact. It’s the opposite of Aidan who insisted I not make eye contact and roughly forced me into whatever positions he wanted.
“I can’t do it. I’m not even close. I’m so sorry for wasting your time. I can’t do anything right,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper as a loose tear makes its escape down my cheek.
“Yet. You can’t do ityet,” he states so firmly that I desperately want to believe him. My heart is pounding so loudly at our closeness that he must be able to hear it. Hemoves his hand slowly from my chin, along my jaw, and towards the back of my head. I stare into his deep brown eyes and for a second—just a second—his gaze dips to my lips.
He steps back and turns his back to me, cutting off whatever that moment was and leaving me cold. Alone. My heart is still pounding and my breath shallow, but for the first time in as long as I can remember, it’s not from fear.
It’s from a longing that I didn’t know I could have anymore. Aidan is the only man I’ve ever been with, but I stopped wanting to be intimate with him a long time ago. Around about the time his insults started to become physical. But even before that, he never let me enjoy it. It wasn’t about me.
And, of course, Jackson is the first man I’ve ever been around who has zero interest in me. I know that sounds conceited. It’s so superficial. I know I’m beautiful. That’s what usually draws men’s attention to me. But I’m also weak and damaged, and I’m fairly sure that’s what Jackson sees when he looks at me. I wonder if he notices anything other than my faults or how useless I am.
“Tomorrow. Eleven,” he barks.
“Wh… what happens at eleven?”
“Be here at 11 if you want me to give you one-to-one training outside of the groups.”
My mouth drops in shock as I stare at his broad back. He hasn’t looked at me again since he stepped back, but I can’t let an opportunity like this go. I need to be able to defend myself and I don’t have a lot of time before I’m on my own again.
“Okay. I mean, thank you. That would be amazing. I… I’ll see you then.” My voice is little more than a squeak. And I leave hastily before I can anger him and make him change his mind. I have never spent time alone with any male other than Aidan, so I have no idea how I should act. I need to keep reminding myself that he is just being nice and everything else is in my head.
He doesn’t want me. No one would, unless fate put us together.
Chapter 11
Jackson
Okay, so I might need to acknowledge that I want Emily. I don’t know who the hell I’ve been trying to fool. Ryan and Luca already see it. Sofia practically sings it every time she looks in my direction. But none of that changes the truth; Emily doesn’t need some guy hitting on her right now. She just escaped a pack where she was beaten, broken, and treated like a possession.
The last thing she needs is me acting like every other male in her life, especially not when she flinches at the lightest touch. There’s zero chance that she is ready to get close to someone. Which was why I had left her out of the training exercise. I figured she’d watch, observe, maybe learn something without getting overwhelmed.
But then she had to ask me to touch her. Fuck.
My wolf howled in approval, and I could barely concentrate on what I was doing as soon as she was in my arms. And, fuck, having her body pressed up against me was absolute torture.
Even though I stand a full foot taller than her, she was still pushing her ass against my cock when she moved her hips, and it took every ounce of my strength to stop myself from growing hard against her. She doesn’t need to feel that when she’s clearly terrified if her pounding heart was anything to go by. She doesn’t need to think I’m just another guy who wants something from her. So why the fuck did I offer her private lessons? Something I’ve never offered anyone before.
Fuck. My brain is scrambled.
I follow Emily towards the pack house after a few minutes. I tell myself I’m here to see how she acts after offering her private lessons. Like this could be the moment she drops her guard, and her ulterior motive becomes clear. Seriously, who am I trying to kid?
She slows as she gets closer to the house, glancing around warily. Her shoulders slump a little when a group of unmated males pause their conversation to stare at her. She hurries inside.
What’s that about? She rushes off toward her room and I want to follow, but that’s when I hear them.
“What I wouldn’t do to her,” Aaron, one of the younger warriors, says, his voice wistful and wanting. My eyes narrow to slits.
