“I met a girl at a mating ball just after I turned twenty-one. Her name was Sarah, and I felt a magnetic pull to her right away. She was across the room, and I couldn’t get her scent straight away. I just knew I needed to get closer to her. When I got near her, she turned to me and said ‘mate’. I was drunk on the possibilities, and I didn’t know any better, so I assumed she was my mate even though things were off.”
He takes a breath, and I can practically see his shame rolling off him. “But she wasn’t my mate. She was an evil bitch looking for an easy in.”
I have so many questions. What was off about her? What was her plan? Did she target him intentionally? And if so, why? But I don’t ask. I don’t want to interrupt him. He settles back on the couch and I go with him, tucking my legs under me. I rub circles on the back of his hand with my thumb—like Sofia did for me—and find myself leaning closer to him. Desperate for him not to feel alone in his vulnerability.
“She distracted me from my patrol while her buddies poured into the pack. We didn’t teach omegas self-defense back then and Mom was already weak after losing Dad. They didn’t stand a chance. Once the alarm was raised, I realized what was happening, but it was too late. Mom was dead and Katie was gone.”
My heart twists and I move closer to him.
He leans forward and lowers his face into his free hand, shoulders trembling. The salty tang of his tears hits me, even if he doesn’t let them fall. His voice cracks as he continues.
“There was so much blood, but the trail disappeared in the forest and it wasn’t long before our family bond snapped, letting me know she was dead. We never found her body.”
My heart aches. I can’t begin to imagine the immeasurable void his loss has left behind. I don’t have siblings. I never even had a close friend before I met Sofia. I can’t begin to imagine the loss he suffered.
The thought of him losing his mom and sister in such a horrific way is beyond tragic; it’s heartbreaking. I lay my head on his shoulder, and he lets go of my hand to wrap his arm around me and pull me closer to him.
“Is this okay?” he asks, and I nod against his chest. It feels more than okay to be close to him but I appreciate him asking.
“What happened to her? Sarah?”
“I don’t know. She was long gone before the dust settled. A couple of the wolves who attacked died in the attack; others escaped and eluded capture. We never discovered why she did it or what she wanted.”
“And you blame yourself,” I whisper.
“Of course I do; if I hadn’t fallen for her plan, then none of it would have happened. Katie and my mom would still be here.” He speaks calmly, as if resigned to his culpability.
And seeing this good man blame himself, I’m struck by how different he is to Aidan. Jackson carries the weight of his guilt rather than blaming the female who manipulated him. He is different from every guy in Blood Moon. And before I can second-guess it, I cup his face in both hands and stare into his warm brown eyes.
“Someone you thought was meant for you betrayed you. She did something so unthinkable that you couldn’t have possibly seen it coming. It wasn’t your fault.”
His arm lowers to my waist as he pulls me closer to him gently. And I go willingly, cuddling into him. My wolf purrs, as distressed as she is about his pain, being close to him feels right to both of us. I wish I could turn my words towards myself and believe them. He places his warm hands on my thighs, moving up to my hips before pulling me even closer to him.
“Is that what happened to you?” he asks, a steely determination in his gaze. “Were you betrayed?”
“I don’t know how to describe what it was.”
I didn’t plan to tell him about Aidan, but his vulnerability with me encourages me to be honest, too. Perhaps he will understand more than most.
“I grew up in Blood Moon. I was a couple of months off eighteen when the Alpha of all people started showing me interest. He was older, handsome, strong. It was so flattering that he was interested inme. Especially as no male had ever shown an interest in me before.”
“How is that possible?”
I let out a humorless laugh. In retrospect, it seems everything was a manipulation. Aidan orchestrated all of my interactions long before he made his move.
“In hindsight, I think Aidan had made it clear that I was off limits. And, well, he wasn’t bad at first. He took me on dates and complimented me all the time. The few friends I had weren’t happy about us getting together. But he convinced me they were just jealous and encouraged me to distance myself. I thought as long as I had him, it would be fine.”
The burn of humiliation at what an idiot I had been never eases. How I had ignored all the warnings and red flags because it had been so gratifying to be wanted. How I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to run before he had the chance to sink his claws into me and never look back.
“He asked me to move in the day I turned eighteen and I was thrilled, even though some issues were starting to show up. My mom tried to stop me at first, but again, he convinced me she was holding me back, so I stopped talking to my parents too. And Mom never tried to reach out after I moved in. I didn’t find out until recently that it was because Aidan used his alpha command to force her to stay away.”
“Fuck,” he sighs as it hits him how alone I was.
“He told everyone that I would be his Luna once I turned twenty-one, and privately, that meant he needed totrainme. The training involved controlling everything I did, from my whereabouts to what I wore and ate. By the time I realized I wasn’t happy, I was already so isolated,” I explain. Jackson tenses and I worry I’m too close to him. I go to move, but he holds me in place with his firm hand on my hip.
“Please stay. It’s the only thing keeping my wolf calm,” he rasps, gazing at me with a mixture of tenderness and intensity that is both comforting and tempting. Even though he is holding me to him, somehow I know he wouldn’t stop me if I wanted to leave. I relax as my body sags, laying my head on his chest.
“He started making comments about how bad I was at keeping the house clean or making meals, how I would be a terrible Luna, and over time it seemed everything that went wrong was somehow my fault. And when it went wrong, he would punish me.”
