“Oh wow, really? What happened?”
I tell Sofia all about Jackson sleeping outside my door and then taking me back to his place to make me food. And how we both opened up. I gush about how amazing our datewas and about all the wonderful things he said while leaving out the filthy things that I loved the most.
“And what about the sex?” she asks seriously and my face burns again. I’ve never spoken to anyone about sex, and I don’t know what’s appropriate to say.
“Um, so, it was…” I trail off before finding myself smiling like a fool. How could I put into words what that experience was? How do I describe something that felt like coming home to my body for the first time? I take a breath before responding, “It was perfect.”
“Uh, not enough girl,” Sofia scolds. “I need deets! What are we talking about on a scale from soft lovemaking to dirty and wild?” She holds out her hands, showing a scale of her own making.
I laugh, embarrassed but happy. “Um, definitely the second one,” I say, pointing to the far end of her imaginary scale. I barely have the words out before she screeches again and throws herself back on the bed, her legs pumping in the air like she’s riding an invisible bicycle.
“Yes! Get it, girl!”
We both dissolve into a fit of giggles, my stomach aching in the best way. I feel something warm and full settle in my chest.
“Jackson said your brother might let me stay officially,” I tell her.
“I know, sweetie. Whose idea do you think that was?” she says with a wink. And now I’m launching myself at her, hugging her tight. I can’t believe how lucky I’ve gotten. I've not only found a guy who seems to be perfect in every way, but I've also found an amazing friend. One who has had my back since day one.
“Plus, he has been outsourcing accounts, so you’ll be doing us a massive favor if you want to take on that job?”
“Seriously?” I’d love to contribute to the pack. I’m grateful for their generosity, but I don’t want to sponge off them. And Aidan might have made me feel like my abilities with numbers were nothing to be proud of, but maybe that was just another lie he told me to keep me down.
“Yes, honestly, it would really help. Ryanhatesdealing with humans, but he has had little choice with the pack businesses and investments up to now.” Sofia smiles at me and it’s like everything is coming together.
“So, did you think any more about therapy now that you’re more settled?”
“Yeah, actually, I spoke to Jackson about it, and he thinks it’s a good idea, too. I think I’d like to try it.”
“Oh, great!” Sofia exclaims while checking the time. “Because your first session is online in about thirty minutes.”
“What are you talking about?” I gape at her, sure I’ve misunderstood. How could I possibly have a session booked with a therapist when I have no money and haven’t made contact with anyone?
“Don’t be mad. I was just so scared for you after what happened in training with Luca, so I went ahead and booked you in with someone. Her name is Dr. Maya Moore. She’s a psychologist, and she specializes in trauma treatment. Your first twelve sessions have been prepaid.”
“I’m not mad.” My voice cracks a little. “I just… I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I… I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do,” Sofia says earnestly while clutching my hand. “Pay me back by focusing on your healing. That’s all I want. Honestly, Em, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had too, and I’m happy to help. Everyone else thinks they know me. I’ve been playing a role since I was a kid, but with you I can be myself, no preconceived notions or expectations. You see the real me.”
“I’m so sorry. Anyone who doesn’t see you for the amazing person you are is an idiot.”
She takes a deep breath and looks away. Her eyes water, but then she blinks back the tears and smiles at me, effectively ending that conversation. But hopefully just postponing it for another day.
“Just remember she’s human, so no talk of anything she shouldn’t know about.”
Thirty minutes later, I sit cross-legged on my bed, palms slick with sweat as I wait for the telehealth call to connect. Sofia’s laptop rests in front of me, the screen still empty, as I wait to meet my new therapist.
I jump a little when the screen changes, and the therapist joins the call. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the beautiful woman sitting in front of a massive library wall of books. She looks younger than I expected, maybe in her late twenties or early thirties. Her long, black hair frames her delicate face. Her almond-shaped eyes are expressive and warm, and she smiles softly at me before introducing herself.
“Hi Emily, my name is Dr. Moore, but you can call me Maya. Your friend Sofia gave me a little background, but I’d love to hear from you directly. Do you think you could tell me why you have decided to begin therapy?”
I take a deep breath and give her the cliff notes, human-friendly version. That I was in an abusive relationship where I was regularly beaten and completely isolated. I tell her Iran and ended up meeting Sofia’s family and that they allowed me to stay with them while I recovered but that I have since met a new man who is treating me really well and I am considering staying and that I have a job opportunity here.
I stretch out the time frame to make it more realistic for a human, as Sofia and I discussed beforehand.
“That sounds like an extremely difficult situation, and you’ve done so well to get away from your ex,” Maya says softly. Her voice has a warm, comforting quality that provides me with a sense of safety even speaking to her through a screen. “Can I ask—if we were looking back at your time in therapy from the future, how would you know it helped?”
“I guess… not having times when I panic so much that I feel like I’m going to die would be a good start,” I say with a humorless laugh. “Sometimes when I was with Aidan, I used to go numb and I was grateful for that because it didn’t hurt so much when he hit me. But now I don’t need to feel that way anymore. I’d like to leave the past in the past and move forward with my life.”
