I shake my head. “I asked him to leave with me. He said no. I don’t think he wants me anymore. I’m not sure what happened, but he keeps saying his duty is to the pack.” The painful sting of his rejection causes my voice to crack, and I look at the ground to hide my burning cheeks.
“What the fuck is wrong with that wolf?” Sofia huffs in frustration as she strides towards the forest. I follow her in a half run to keep up with the purposeful strides ofher longer legs. “It wouldn’t have to be forever. You could both come back once you’re mated, but at least if you left together now, then you wouldn’t have to rush the decision.”
As if anyone would choose a pathetic, weak bitch like you. I only agreed to mate you because we are fated.
“That would have been an option, except he doesn’t want me anymore. I messed it up, and he must realize I’m not good enough for him. I’m not worth it.”
Sofia squints at me, like she is trying to read my mind through my facial expressions.
“That’s bullshit. He has been so much happier since you got here than I ever remember. When I mindlinked him yesterday that something seemed off, he couldn’t get to you fast enough. Although it would have been nice if he had let me know what happened afterwards instead of blocking me from the mindlink afterwards. Asshole.”
That idea reminds me; all that changed between him wanting me yesterday and today is that I showed him who I am. I showed him what I wanted sexually, and it freaked him out. He must think I’m such a whore and that’s not what he wants.
No one wants a used-up slut like you.
“But seriously, Em. It’s not a smart idea for you to take off on your own. Surely you’re safer here in a pack? I didn’t get to talk to Ryan last night, but I’m sure he will be okay with it.”
“No, I can’t do that. I can’t ask anyone to stand between me and Aidan. I won’t be responsible for anyone getting hurt.”
I don’t tell her that on top of that worry is the pain of seeing Jackson move forward without me. The idea of him meeting his fated mate in the future and forgetting all about me is too much for me to cope with.
“Can you stop being so stubborn?” Sofia says while throwing her arms up in the air. “Why is it fair that you get to keep everyone else safe, but you won’t let anyone help you?”
“Because…. because I’m not worth it!”
“That’s not true!” She shouts. “No one deserved what Aidan put you through.” There are tears in her eyes, but she doesn’t let them fall. She continues walking deeper into the forest and I follow her. We’re silent for a few moments as I try to think of how to explain myself. I know how much Sofia values our friendship, and if the roles were reversed, I absolutely wouldn’t want her alone, either.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been working on this with Maya, but it’s taking time to see myself as worthy of anything.” My head drops in shame. I wish I could let go of Aidan’s voice. I wish the memory of his harsh tone and insults would fade. But whenever I feel insecure,it’s his voice in my head. I thought I was doing better, that I was hearing him less, but today it has been near constant.
“I still hear him. I’m still haunted by Aidan’s voice, saying I’m a worthless slut that nobody will ever want.”
“Because it’s true. You are a worthless slut, and no one would want you except for me, and that’s only because I’m your mate.”
Aidan’s voice rings out even more clearly than it has since the night I left. The anger and derision so present that the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and goosebumps erupt all over my skin. I swear I can smell his coppery scent. I’m losing my mind.
Except, when I finally look up to Sofia, I see the horror in her eyes and I realize it’s not just in my head.
Aidan has found me.
Chapter 30
Jackson
“Of course. I need to go say goodbye to Sofia,” Emily mumbles, stepping back from me. “I’ll find you before I leave.” She turns and runs out the door. Practically sprints. By the time I’ve picked my jaw up off the floor to go after her, she’s already gone.
What the fuck just happened?
She’s acting like everything has changed. And I guess, in a way, it has. But she doesn’t know why. She doesn’t know what I’ve just learned, what’s at stake. And I can’t even tell her.
I pace the length of the cabin, dragging my hands through my hair. I can’t leave the pack. Not now. Not when we might have a lead on Katie. It would be like abandoning her all over again. And I can’t do that. Not when lives hang in the balance. But I can’t let Emily leave, either. Not alone. Not with Aidan out there. The memory of the state she was in when I found her in the forest has my wolf snarling with rage.
If she’d just stay here... But Aidan finding her again is her biggest fear. It makes sense why she doesn’t want to take any chances. And today, waking up and realizing I’m not her fated mate? That I wasn’t there. I’m such a fucking idiot.
I have no idea what to do. I wish I could talk to Katie or my mom right now. Their guidance would make everything so much clearer. But they aren’t here. On to the next best thing I have right now; Sofia.
I mindlink her, desperate for any update. She shuts me out instantly, telling me she’s already with Emily and can’t talk. She also calls me an asshole and tells me to see how being shut out feels.
Still, at least that’s another voice to try to convince Emily to stay. Hopefully Sofia can talk her round.
