“I have to leave,” I continue. “Will you… will you come with me?”
Jackson’s handsome face is a mask of anguish, his strong features twisted in pain. “I can’t. I can’t leave the pack. There’s so much going on and I have a duty here. But it’ll be okay. You don’t have to leave. I’ll keep you safe.”
Jackson is a good man. Maybe too good. He has always been clear that the pack comes first. I can’t fault him for his loyalty. And yet, my heart sinks with the realization that even though he loves me, it’s not enough.
I’m not enough.
But I can’t blame him for that. Wolves are pack animals. Leaving the pack is a huge decision. Part of me wishes I hadn’t gotten closer to him, but the other part wouldn’t change it for the world.
“I don’t want you or anyone else to get caught between Aidan and me. I couldn’t cope if you got hurt trying to protect me. But I’m still too close to Blood Moon. The only way I can guarantee he won’t find me is if I’m far enough that he can’t track me.”
“No, this doesn’t make sense. You can’t leave on your own. How is that safer than staying here? Ryan will let you join the pack officially. You don’t need to leave.”
“I do. I can't stay here. Maybe I would be safer here than alone, but the pack won’t be if Aidan finds me here. I won’t put anyone else in danger. Surely you can understand that?”
I need him to stop making this harder. My wolf howls in pain at the thought of never seeing him again, mourning the bond we were so sure we would have. But at least he will be safe without me here. I don’t have a choice, and I wish he could see that.
“Please don’t go,” he pleads. “Let’s just take a minute to think this through.”
“There’s no time. He might already be on the way.”
He lets out a huff of bitter laughter. “How is it that I have been living for this pack for the past seven years and now that I’m finally ready to be happy, I need to be here more than ever?”
I don’t understand what he means by that. There’s something he’s not telling me. He said as much. But I don’t have time to figure that out. The mate bond can be traced if you know who to look for. If it is Aidan, he would have been able to track me from the moment I woke this morning.
He might not be my mate, he definitely shouldn’t be. If Jackson has shown me anything, it’s that I deserve better. But I can’t take the risk. I need to get as far away as possible.
“If you’re ready to be happy, then why not come with me? We could be happy together.”
“Ican’t,” he growls, slamming his fist on the kitchen counter so hard it cracks. I flinch, unsure of my safety around him for the first time since we got together. “The pack comes first.”
His words slice through me. The finality of his tone leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I was so sure that Jackson saw the real me and cared about me. But I would never have turned him away like this. I would have gone anywhere with him if it ensured his safety.
I don’t need to make a fool of myself. I thought there was more to it with us. That I was more important to him. But I was obviously wrong. So wrong.
I slide off the counter, heart cracking open as fresh tears form in my eyes. “I need to say goodbye to Sofia.” My heart shatters more with each word. All the hope and promise of a better future with the man I’ve fallen in love with slips further away.
“Em—”
“I’ll find you before I leave,” I say without lookingback.
I sprint from the cabin. The ache in my chest is unbearable, and I can’t stay another second longer. I can’t hear him explain putting the pack first, even though I know it makes sense. It’s the same thing I’m trying to do. I’m not worth the drama or the potential danger of Aidan coming here.
All I want is to go back to last night. To that point, after he told me he loved me and before he left. I let out a long, shaky exhale, trying to hold in my tears. I walk away in a daze, unable to think straight.
“Hey, birthday girl!” Sofia’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “Heard you were looking for... hey, what’s wrong? What happened last night? Ryan said you were safe, but wouldn’t tell me anything else.” The concern in her voice is another reminder of how much I wish staying was an option. Sofia’s become such a genuine friend, and I’ll miss her so much.
“Last night was…” I pause. How do I even start to sum up everything that happened last night? “That Alpha who visited the pack, he is friends with Aidan.” I explain, and Sofia gasps and looks around as if Aidan could jump out at any moment. “He followed me to my room, threatened me, said he would tell Aidan where I was if I didn’t stay quiet and let him...” My throat closes and Sofia gasps again.
“His Beta came and intervened, and then Jackson showed up. Ryan and Luca too.”
“Oh my goddess,” Sofia whispers. “And I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry! I can’t believe that Ryan reduced that to you being safe! What the actual fuck?”
“I’m okay. Well, I was okay until I woke this morning and realized Jackson isn’t my mate,” I say shakily. My voice sounds broken and small, even to my own ears. Before continuing, I take a steadying breath. “Aidan might be my mate. I’m too afraid to reach out and test if I can feel the bond, because what if it draws him to me quicker? Like maybe he hasn’t realized yet.” I question as I wrap my arms protectively around myself.
As if I have ever had a chance of ever actually protecting myself from him.
“Oh, sweetie,” Sofia whispers, walking closer and pulling me into a hug. “I’m so sorry. Ryan would kill me for even suggesting this, but what if you and Jack take each other as chosen mates? Itshouldoverride the fated bond.”
