Penny and I sip our coffee and share the French toast in silence, which is unusual for the two of us. We’ve landed ourselves in an odd role reversal. After being gone just shy of a decade, Penny moved back here and we picked up right where we left off, like no time had passed, my lifelong best friend, my ride or die. But I’m the oldest in this friendship, therefore I’m usually the one doling out my thoughts on her life. I’m great at giving advice but terrible at following it.
Breaking the news to Tyler has occupied my thoughts, not him staying and spending time with Abby. Now faced with this new conundrum, I’m running laps in my head, circling round and round the pros and cons of Tyler getting to know our daughter.
Pros—it’s the right thing to do. Abby and Tyler deserve the opportunity to have a relationship.
Cons—if he leaves like Chad and my own dad—it’ll devastate Abby. I don’t know how I’d handle watching her go through that.
I’m lying by not adding myself to that list. What if he and I spend time together, I find he’s every bit as great as I’ve hoped and imagined over the years, and then he leaves. What does thatsay about me? That I’m not worth staying for? I might never recover. It’d be the final blow to my already battered and bruised heart. He might say he’s here indefinitely, but talk is cheap when leaving seems to be the norm for people in my life.
Penny’s hand drifts to rest on her stomach, returning my thoughts to the other day when she did the same motion standing by the stage. I shift the conversation, turning the tables on her.
“Is there something you wanna tell me? I perhaps witnessed the slight resting of the hand on one’s belly, the way one might do when with child.” Holding my coffee cup, pinky out, I assume a posh, yet silly, British accent to deflect from any remnants of our previous conversation. Deflection by humor is by far the greatest tool in my arsenal.
Penny’s eyes drop to her plate of French toast. Guilty as charged.
“Did anyone else notice?” Her eyes flicker back up to mine.
I lift a shoulder. “You know this town is full of busy bodies. I can’t say for sure. I mean, I didn’t tell a soul.”
“It’s very new. Austin and I haven’t told anyone yet. I need to get through the first trimester. And what if something goes wrong and Austin struggles with it? He’s been doing so well, y’know?”
Austinhasbeen doing well. When he got to Singing River he was battling addiction, but found the strength to get help. Penny saw him through some dark times, and I’m sure the fear of returning there weighs on her.
Moving to her side of the booth, I wrap an arm around her and pull her to me. “Penny girl, there are no words to tell you how happy I am for you. You will be the best mom and you and Austin will get through this pregnancy together. He has plenty of people supporting him. You two can do this.”
Penny turns a watery smile my way, her brown eyes shining with unshed tears. “I have no clue what I’m doing. With Mom gone…” Her words trail off, and I squeeze her tighter.
“There’s not a doubt in my mind you’ll be an amazing mom. You were raised by the best. I can’t wait to see you rock the shit out of motherhood. You and Austin don’t owe this news to anyone until you’re both ready. Until then, your secret is safe with me, and you know I’m here for you, sis. Call me any hour of the day with any questions you might have.”
I give her shoulder another squeeze, and Jackson appears with our checks. Penny and I leave cash on the table, giving him goodbye hugs before we head outside to part ways. I’m almost to my car when Penny calls out after me. “Think about what I said, Jo. I’m serious.”
I raise a hand to my forehead in a salute, which makes her laugh. Once I’m in the driver’s seat, I crank the engine, my Cranberries CD starting up. Humming along to “Dreams,” I steer my car toward the market to grab the groceries I’ll need for Thanksgiving.
Of course I get the cart with the wonky wheel, the kind thatclink, clink, clinks, and stubbornly pulls to the right while I do my best to forge a straight path through the store. This only adds to my jumbled thoughts. I collect the items on my list, my mind on a spin cycle with the choices I’m facing regarding Tyler. Keeping my head down, I smile at the cashier like I’m not internally spiraling about the biggest decision I’ve had to make in years.
As I’m pulling into my driveway, I tilt my head and squint my eyes. Something is different about my house. I rarely take time to study the exterior, but something has changed. Then it hits me. In the time it took for me to have breakfast with Penny, grab a few groceries and get back home, someone rehung that dang shutter that fell last spring during a storm.
No, not someone. Tyler. My mind jumps to him, exiting the hardware store. I’m still sitting in my car, wondering if my hunch is correct, when my gaze snags on a slip of paper taped to the screen door. Looping all the grocery bags over one arm, I head up the front walk, my steps quickening as I reach theporch. I snatch the note from the door and scan the words. Before I even get to the end, I already know who wrote it.
Jo,
Austin made some calls. I’m renting a room over the bar. I’ll be here indefinitely. Thought I’d make myself useful and hang your shutter. Call if you need anything.
Ty
The thought of him renting the apartment over Old Town Tavern makes me feel things I’m unsure how to define. He’s a complete stranger to me, but if he’s anything like he was back then, he prefers the quiet. But he has been on the road with Austin for years. Maybe he’s adjusted? Hell if I know.
What I do know is this: Tyler doesn’t even know the full story yet and he’s choosing to plant himself in my world. My heart kicks up in equal parts comfort and terror. Comfort, because the idea of a man like Tyler planting himself in my world makes the ground beneath me feel less shaky. Terror, because one wrong move could destroy everything I’ve built to keep myself and my kids safe from heartache.
Sighing, I swing open the door and head inside. Abby sits on the couch, flute at her lips, practicing a song the band will play in their upcoming Christmas concert. One of the pads keeps sticking, causing her to miss a few notes, and I make a mental note to check with the band director about fixing it. I couldn’t afford a new one when Abby joined the band, so she plays a school issued instrument instead. Smudge sits on his haunches at her feet, howling along to the song. I shake my head, chuckling at the sight, and she stops playing when she hears me.
“That man was here earlier. I saw him outside doing something in the yard.”
“What man?” I play dumb, knowing good and well what man she’s referring to.
“The one from the other day. He brought you home.” She looks back at the sheet music in front of her. “That was weird, by the way. How he stepped in and took over when you passed out.”
“He’s Austin’s cousin. I think that’s his personality.” I wave her off. “You know, jumping in and helping people when they need it.” Oh my gosh. Has Abby figured it out already?
