I found them in the basement, Danny sitting on the dusty piano stool, his hands folded over the handle of his sterile cane while Matteo was ass-end over in the piano’s guts. He was demonstrating to Danny how the piano produced sound.
I watched for a long moment, the conversation shifting to Danny enthusiastically explaining how math and music were intricately linked, the geek. When Matteo spotted me, his face lit up, an adorable smear of dirt across his cheek.
“This was your surprise?” he asked and rubbed his nose.
I shrugged. “When the theater was purchased, a lot of leftover junk was lying around. They moved it in here, unsure of what to do with it and it just kind of sat. I thought you might be able to do something with this old piano. I wasn’t sure if it worked, so I didn’t want to tell you.”
“It needs some help,” he said, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Some of the hammers need to be replaced, and the shell needs a good polishing but the harp is structurally sound. That’s the most important part, you know? Imploding pianos is a thing.”
Matteo droned on about the immense pressure of the strings on the harp and the wooden cores of antiquity versus the steel cores of modern instruments.
He rushed to me and tugged me by my jacket over to the piano, pointing out all the delicate and intricate innards. Theexcitement in his tone touched something inside of me–in some small way, I’d given him his music back.
Danny passed me a suspicious glance and I could see his thoughts churning, wondering just how close Matteo and I were.
“I’m not like some pianists that don’t know how their own instrument works.” He erected his spine and ran his hand along the piano’s surface, leaving a clean streak. “It makes no sense how you could play to perfection without understanding how the music is produced. Ah, see you got me started and I’m rambling. Never get me started.”
“You got yourself started. You’re a slut for pianos and that’s no one’s fault but your own,” I teased, not caring if I had an audience or not. I supposed I wanted Danny to think we were together because then I could brag about it and not feel alone.Look at this sexy, young guy that chose me.
He narrowed his eyes on me, glanced at Danny watching us then smirked as if to saywe will finish this later. I winked, letting him know I was looking forward to it.
“I think I’m going to head back,” Danny announced and took his time getting to his feet. “Thanks for showing me how this all works. Hopefully, you can get it into order.”
“I’ll walk back with you,” I said to Danny. “You good here for a little while, Matteo?”
He mumbled something as he bent over the piano.
When we were out of the room, I said to Danny, “Stop looking at me like that.”
His cheeks plumped as he tried not to smile. “He’s young.”
“He’s older than he looks,” I countered. “And legal, so don’t give me shit.”
He stopped, touched my arm gently. “When were you going to tell me?”
“I don’t know. It just kind of happened.” I couldn’t help feeling a tad defensive.
“Is that why you didn’t come over for Christmas?” He pressed.
“Yeah. But I wasn’t ignoring my friends for a piece of ass. He was sick and I mean really sick. I was busy playing nurse.”
He blinked at me. “I can’t picture you in a white dress and hat.”
I laughed and it felt good.
He looked away and let out a big breath, his weight resting on his cane. “How come you never asked me out?”
I gaped, my ears suddenly ringing. I’d heard incorrectly, hadn't I?
His smile softened and touched the sleeve of my jacket again. “I know what it’s like to be crushed on, Sean. I’ve done my fair share of crushing on Jere when I thought he was straight. I know the signs. I always thought you’d eventually ask me out, but you never did. Just wondering why.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. There were a thousand reasons I could give and telling him it had something to do with the promise I’d made to myself wasn’t one-hundred percent true. I suppose I had some trust issues going on. He was a good friend and closer than most. Trusting him with my heart wasn’t easy when the ones that were supposed to love me for who I am had shredded it.
I came to understand when swearing off meaningless sex, I’d shelved a vital part of my identity. I’d gone from one extreme to the other. As much as I hated to admit it, I was still suffering the effects of religious indoctrination. Realizing I still had issues to work through was shattering.
“It’s okay because Jere was always my future. But I’m glad you found someone. I hope he makes you happy.” He jutted the tip of his clinically-issued cane into my boot. “And you’regoing to stop hiding from me. I want us to all go out and do something soon.”
“It looks like I traded a math geek in for a piano nerd.” I smiled, an honest, joyful grin. I leaned down and kissed his cheek and he tucked his arm in mine. “Sounds like a plan.”
