She doesn’t finish the sentence, but she doesn’t have to. I know what she’s asking. “Yeah, even Megan.”
“Why?” As soon as the question leaves her mouth, her eyes widen slightly, and she has a total foot-in-mouth moment that’s adorable. “You don’t have to answer that.”
I bite back a smile at the expression she’s wearing before I think about how I want to respond. Other than the one time Charley not-so-subtly told me I deserved better than Megan, we haven’t talked about her. Not because I’m against it or don’t want to share anything with Charley, but because it’s an uncomfortable topic to broach. Not only was Megan my wife, but she was also the reason Charley and I drifted apart when we were younger, because I didn’t know how to be her friend while dating Megan. Or rather, I didn’t know how to bejusther friend. And now Charley’s pregnant with my kid, so the whole situation feels a little awkward.
“She, uh…” Clearing my throat, I say, “She was never a fan of the idea. It was something I talked about, in somewhat of a far-off sense, when we were in college, but she always looked down on it, so after a while, I quit talking to her about it. WhenI started making real plans, I made the decision to keep it to myself until I had concrete plans and a decent idea about how it was going to be done.”
Chewing on the inside of her cheek, I can practically see the wheels turning in her mind. “I know you’ve told me before that y’all weren’t happy, but did either of you ever talk about divorce? At the risk of sounding insensitive, I guess I don’t understand why you guys stayed together, especially since it sounds like the problems started before Ellie Mae was even born.”
“You don’t sound insensitive,” I reassure her, because she doesn’t. Not only is it natural human curiosity, but we’re also having a baby together. I would be concerned if Charleydidn’thave questions. Nodding, I say, “Yeah, we did—or rather, I did. Megan came from a very traditional family, where divorce isn’t an option, so any time it was brought up, she would say I needed to man up, or that divorce was for cowards. And don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad. We had plenty of good times, so it’s not like we were living in complete misery for years. Then when we found out she was pregnant with Ellie Mae, I think we both thought—and hoped—having a kid would help us find our way back to each other.”
Charley’s gaze is soft as it holds mine but, thankfully, I don’t see any pity reflecting back at me. “But it didn’t?” she asks.
Shaking my head, I say, “It did not.”
“Do you know how long the affair was going on?”
“A hell of a lot longer than she told me it was,” I quip, offering her a forced smile. “Remember that box I told you about that night at the bar?”
She nods.
“Those date back to at least four years before Ellie Mae was conceived. My guess is that it began back when Landon and his wife were going through a rough time. Megan and his wife were friends, and I think she got close to him during the timethey separated because he ended up staying with us for about a month before he found a place to live, and they, I don’t know, maybe bonded over their shitty spouses.”
Eyes wide, Charley says, “You think it started while he was staying with you guys?”
“I don’t know, maybe? After about a year and a half, Landon and his wife decided to reconcile, and I’m guessing when he moved back home, he might’ve ended things with Megan because, around that time, things got a little better between us. Things weren’t so tense at home; we were talking more, going out on dates more often, and we were”—I clear my throat—“intimate more frequently, hence getting pregnant with Ellie Mae.”
“So you don’t think she was sneaking around when she was pregnant?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I mean, she could’ve been, but I’d be surprised. After Ellie Mae was born, she struggled with postpartum depression pretty badly, so when she pulled back from me and was angry more often, I thought it was because of that. She talked to a postpartum counselor and got on medication, and I think she felt more like herself, butwenever got better. And you know, I probably could’ve done more. I was so consumed by adjusting to being a dad and working to provide for all three of us, that I didn’t put in much effort to rekindle our marriage either. Sure, I pushed for her to talk to someone so she could feel better, but I never made much of an effort to…romance her, I guess.”
“Don’t do that,” Charley mutters. “Don’t blame yourself for whatshechose to do.”
“But the way our marriage ended up wasn’t just her fault,” I say. “I could’ve done more to be a better husband too.”
Her jaw is tense, and I can see it in her eyes that she wants to say more about it, but instead she asks, “How are you dealingwith everything? Despite your troubles, it still had to be hard losing your wife and the mother of your child so suddenly.”
“I’m okay,” I reply honestly. “It was hard at first, mostly because I felt in over my head. Ellie Mae was a little older than six months old, and I was just getting the hang of the dad thing and, suddenly, it was only me.”
“You’re an incredible dad, Graham.” Charley places her hand over her belly before adding, “You were dealt a difficult hand, and instead of letting it consume you, you persevered. That’s admirable. Ellie Mae is a lucky girl to have you, and I know this baby will be just as lucky.”
My cheeks heat, and my stomach dips. “Thank you, but you don’t have to say that.”
“Oh hush, it’s the truth.” She chuckles as she stands and gestures toward the bowl in my lap. “Done with yours?”
“Yeah, but I got it.”
I don’t miss the way she rolls her eyes, or the slight uptick in her lips as she walks past me. After I rinse the bowls and set them in the dishwasher, I grab a glass from the cupboard and fill it up with water, guzzling it while Charley switches off the TV and turns off the living room light.
“Night,” she calls out, waving me off as she starts down the hallway.
“Night, Char.”
Then she gasps and rushes into the kitchen. “Graham…” Coming to a stop in front of me, Charley grabs my wrist, bringing my hand to her stomach. “Peanut’s kicks are getting a little stronger. I think you may be able to feel it finally.”
Charley’s hand covers mine, guiding it to the right side of her stomach. Her blue eyes peer up at me as we both wait on bated breath.
“Come on, baby,” she coos. “Can you let your daddy feel you movin’ around in there?” Her other hand rubs along the top ofher belly. My heart thrashes in my chest, and when I finally feel a subtle thump against my palm, I’m sure I imagined it until Charley’s eyes dart up to mine. “Did you feel that?” she asks excitedly.
