“I… Yeah, I think I did!”
“It’s such a weird feeling,” she breathes out with a chuckle. “Good weird, obviously. But feeling this little life move around inside my body is surreal.”
“I can’t imagine what that must be like.” My hand is still on her stomach when it happens again. “There they go again!”
Charley’s soft, warm hand covers mine again, and the touch spreads like electricity through the rest of my body. “I think you like hearing Mommy and Daddy talk, don’t you, baby?”
“I think it’s you they like hearing,” I murmur. Charley peers up at me. “You have a very soothing voice,” I add, unease creeping up my spine.What a weird thing to say.
A smirk tugs on the corner of her mouth. “So, what you’re saying is, you like my voice?”
What the hell? I already said something weird, so why not go with honesty? “There’s a whole lot I like about you and, yes, your voice is one of them.”
Her smile turns shy as pink splashes her cheeks. Swallowing harshly, she murmurs, “Good to know.”
As we continue to gaze at each other, the air turns thick, and I wonder if she feels it too. My hand is still on her stomach, with hers covering mine, and it would be so easy to lean in and kiss her, andgod,do I want to. But then I remember what she said the last time we almost kissed, and I know I can’t.
“Probably for the best.”
My stomach clenches as I drop my hand and clear my throat. “Well, should probably get to bed,” I mutter, taking a step back.
Something passes in Charley’s eyes that I can’t make out before she smiles and nods. “Yeah, me too. I’m exhausted.”
The walk down the hall feels awkward, and so does the wave I give her when she reaches her room. “Goodnight.”
“Night, Graham.”
After I strip down and climb into bed, I stare up at the ceiling, frustration welling up inside of me.
This is torture.
Living under the same roof as Charley, wanting her with every fiber of my being, but knowing I can’t have her.Torture.
19
Graham, Then
It’s late, well after three in the morning, as I stumble into the room I share with my buddy, Landon. He’s not here, which isn’t surprising, considering the way he goes home with a different girl nearly every night. Most nights, it’s like I don’t have a roommate at all. It’s kind of nice. Stripping out of my clothes, I climb into bed wearing nothing more than my boxer briefs, knowing I need to go to sleep soon; otherwise, I’m going to be miserable tomorrow. My first class is at nine a.m., and I have a full day, including work in the afternoon.
It’s been about three months since I started college, and it’s been quite an adjustment. The university is four and a half hours from home, and going from living with my parents to living in a dorm with my best friend has been hard. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been fun getting to do whatever I want without having to answer to my parents, but there have also been moments when I wish home was a much closer drive. Mostly when I’ve eaten only Top Ramen for days at a time and all I want is a home-cooked meal. Last month, I got a job workingin the kitchen at a diner near campus, and it’s been nice having spare money again. My parents would have helped if I asked, but they’re already paying for my tuition, so I didn’t really want to bother them.
Grabbing my laptop off the nightstand, I give myself ten minutes, then I’ll turn it off and go to sleep. I clear out the few notifications I have from my friends before scrolling through social media. There’re already pictures and videos online from the party I was at tonight, but none of them featuring me, thankfully. The number of times my mother has questioned me about stuff she’s seen is insane. You’d think she has no clue what goes on at college.
I come across a post that has my heart beating faster in my chest. It was posted a few hours ago, and I can’t help but stare at the image on my screen. Study it. Catalogue every detail to memory, like I do every time she shows up on my feed. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other—at least six months—but Charley looks just as good as she always has, if not better. She just started her junior year at college, but she’s at a completely different university than me. Closer to Blossom Beach. Normally, she comes home for summer break, but this year, she didn’t. Instead, she went on a cruise with my oldest sister, then they backpacked around Europe together.
Part of me can’t help but wonder if she planned all that specifically so she wouldn’t have to go home and risk running into me. It’s not like it’s hard to do. Her parents still live down the street from my childhood home, and she’s still best friends with all three of my sisters. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit disappointed about not getting to see her before I left for school, or that I wasn’t also disappointed she wasn’t at my graduation. Despite how nonexistent our relationship has been for the last couple of years, I didn’t think she’d miss it, even if only to see Grace graduate.
But she wasn’t.
And I hate it, even though I have no right to.
I know I shouldn’t, and she probably won’t even pick up, but my fingers are moving of their own accord, finding Charley’s number and hitting call before I can talk myself out of it. It rings a few times, and just as I’m about to hang up, the line connects.
“Well, look who it is,” she drawls. “Little late for a phone call, don’t you think?”
A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth, hearing her voice in my ear. There’s a slight rasp to it, and I know it’s because she’s tired. “Maybe, but you answered,” I say.
“I guess curiosity got the better of me,” she teases. “Didn’t think talking to me was allowed, especially not in the middle of the night.”
