Tori
Aftermy talk withKaleos,Idecided to start training the cohorts in hand-to-hand.Theyhad some training in it, of course, but in thePearlKingdom, we had developed highly precise styles in movements that were unlike anything on the continent.Ihad kept that knowledge to myself, but it didn’t feel right to do that anymore.
Iran small groups through the movements during breaks at first,Kaleosobviously being the first to join me.Butquickly others joined in, andAvlyneventually let me lead the sequences at the beginning of training, ‘as a warmup’.Doingthese movements without the weight of a sword was also much easier on my injury, and it helped me build my muscles back up with much less pain.
Itseemed that since that first day,AvlynandIhad agreed to some sort of truce.ButIfound myself seeing them less and less.Theyhad more excuses for missing meals.Buteven with this truce, they never let up on my weapons training, andIfound myself crying on the beach more thanIever would have thought possible.
Evengoing back to one-handed, pain would still radiate through my arm with extended movements, or on bad days, just any movement.Butmy cohort never teased me, at least not about that.Theynever commented on the various hissesIemitted during training, or the tears that leaked constantly from my eyes.ButIdid find them being gentle with me, never pressuring me to duel, andRaulahad even taken up massaging my bad shoulders and arm during our water breaks.
I’dconvincedAbraxasto train with me in private,Itold myself it was to help build up my strength and skills.Thatwas definitely the reason.Abraxashad agreed readily, but maybe only because our training sessions often quickly devolved into a very different kind of fighting.
“You’reoff balance,”Abraxasscolded me as he easily blocked my attempted strike.
“Yeah,Iknow that.It’sthe whole issue,”Ihissed back.Wehad been training for almost an hour, andIwas a mess of sweat, and my arm ached terribly.Butunlike on the beach,Irefused to cry in front ofAbraxas.
“Yourarm won’t ever have the range of motion you want, so you need to compensate with your other side, not leave an opening.”Herushed at me again with all his speed, not holding back.Inan instant, my sword went flying through the air, landing dramatically pointed down in the training room floor.
Iturned my back to him, looking at my sword.Abad move in a fight, butIknew what he would do next.
Thenext momentIfelt him pressed up against my back, his sword held across my throat, “Ithought you knew better than to expose your back to the enemy?”
“Oh?ButIthought this was your favorite side of me?”Irubbed my ass into him and felt him startle.Itwasn’t much, but it was just enough for me to free myself from his grasp and ram my elbow into his stomach.Hegroaned, andIswept his feet out from under him as he recovered.
Helay flat on the floor, andIslowly stepped over him, straddling his waist and pinning him down.Hedidn’t resist, only gripped my hips with his hands, “Nota techniqueI’drecommend on the battlefield.”
“Butan effective one, wouldn’t you agree?”Iground into him, and he met me with equal heat.
“Justpromise me you won’t use that against any criminals you find on your next patrol.”
I’dbeen quite enjoying grinding into him, butIstopped dead. “IthoughtIwas forbidden from that after the last time?”
“Tori,” he sat up, so our faces were inches apart, “Thebest thing for you, for your arm, will be to continue with the cohort and that’s not just training.”
Ididn’t know what to say to that, soIsaid something thatIhadn’t thought about sinceIwas inNiata, “It’snot very princessly behavior, being out with the army on patrol.”
Abraxaslaughed at that, really laughed, “Whenhas that ever stopped you before?”
Plentyof times.Butnow, that seemed so long ago, whenIhadn’t been allowed to do anything but train with the soldiers ofNiata.Afew timesIhad managed to convince a captain to take me out on patrol, butIhad eventually been caught, and that had ended quickly.Ithad been one of the few times my father had left a lasting mark on me, breaking my wrist.
Irubbed it absentmindedly.Ithad healed long ago, but that didn’t stop my body from feeling the phantom pain.
“Tori…”Abraxaslooked at me with those soft eyesIcouldn’t stand, soIshoved him down to the dirt, despite how it made my arm twinge.
“Later,YourMajesty.Wehave a duel to finish.”
* * *
ItseemedCiaraandIwere also back on good terms, her warm chatter filling my mornings whenever she brought me breakfast.Buttoday she was unusually silent.
Iapproached her slowly as she busied herself fluffing some pillows in my room, “Ciara, what’s the matter?”
Shecontinued fluffing for a few moments more, when she finally said, “Justsome bad news from back home.”
Iwalked over to her, placing a gentle hand on her back, as she had once done for me.Shesighed, andIsaw her face laced with tears, “Doesit ever feel like no matter what you do, you can’t escape your past?”Moretears fell from her eyes.Iwas frozen.Afterour encounter before,Ididn’t want to hug her, didn’t know ifIcould.ButIfelt that voice inside me swell,hewas the only part of me that knew how to be soft.Iimagined he lay his hand on my own, encouraging me.
“Ciara,Iknow all too well what you mean.”Ihad never voiced this before, not even toJun.Wehad come to an understanding to never speak of it.ButIthought ofKaleos, of the cohort, and all their kindness.Fora momentIeven thought aboutAbraxasbut shoved that away.ButforCiara,Icould be kind.
“WhenIwas younger—well,Iwas a fool, as we all are.Icraved more than anything to be accepted by my father, for him to see me as worthy.ButIsee now, no matter whatIdo,Ican’t change how he feels.”Tearsleaked from my eyes now as well,Icouldn’t believe how muchI’dcried in these last weeks.ButIdidn’t shove it away, “ButIcouldn’t see that then andI…wellItried to kill myself over it.”Ciara’seyebrows shot up, but she didn’t say anything, “Iwas lucky, my brother saved me, and he gave me the strength to keep going.Butnot a day goes by thatIdon’t think of it, the helplessness trying to drag me under.Andthat was over a century ago.”
