* * *
Myfeet ledme back to the gala.Iinhaled a glass of ambrosia, but my body craved something stronger while those deep, deadly shadows clawed at the edge of my mind.Igrabbed another, looking for anything to drive them away.Igulped it down and spun looking for another whenLadyLovatialaced her arm with mine.
“PrincessTori,Ihave some exciting news.”
“LadyLovatia,Idon’t know if tonight is a good night to—”
“Nonsense,LadyBogatajust returned from theCapital.I’msure she has news of your brother you would like to hear.”
Thatcrushing weight lay on my chest.Thiswas too much, all of it was too much.Blackthreatened my vision again asLovatiahauled me across the room.
LadyBogatawas chatting with many of the other ladies of court at the side of the dance floor, “Oh,YourHighness, not so often we catch you without the king these days?”Shequirked an eyebrow at me, andIsimply wanted to die on the spot.Everyonehad known, everyone had seen but me.Kaleos,Ciara,Avlyn, even these fucking courtiers.
“Areyou alright,YourHighness, you look quite pale?”LadyLovatia’sface showed true concern, butIpushed her away too.
“I’malright, maybe just too much to drink, perhapsIshould—”
LadyBogataspoke over me, “Weall heard, what you did against those raiders,” she paused, it seemed she had omitted herself from this story, “Wewanted you to know how grateful we are.”Shestared at me, and ifIhadn’t been using every ounce of my will to keep myself standing,Imight have been able to see what she was telling me. “Itravel toKoronoften.Ido enjoy your brother’s performances;Iwould be happy to keep you updated on them.”Allthe ladies were staring at me now.Notthem too.Icouldn’t take this.
“Imust be going.”Ifled, again.Outthe doors and straight to my room.Ishould have just gone there straight away, butIwas afraidAbraxaswould have found me.No, notAbraxas, the king—my captor.
Mymind wasn’t a storm so much as a cyclone, the kind that had ripped apart villages leaving nothing but destruction in their wake.Thiswasn’t like the temple.Norage filled me, only fear, that fear and despair that had almost pulled me over the edge so long ago.Icouldn’t go back there, but a path once trod is easy to follow and the sweet empty darkness called to me.Luckily,Ciarawaited for me.
“YourHighness, canI—”
“Yes,Ineed a sleeping potion, a full dose.”
Shestepped back, “I’msorry,YourHighness, butIhave been forbidden from providing that to you.”
“Alright,I’lltake a half-dose, just bring it quickly.”
“No,Tori.”Shestood to her full height, still much shorter than me, “Ihave been forbidden to bring you any.Bythe order of the king.”
Ifinally found that rage.Thatcyclone was a firestorm again, and nothing would stop my destruction now.IleftCiarawithout another word and headed straight to him.
Chapter48
Abraxas
Ididn’t have to wait long for her.Ihad thought we would have more time.I’dengulfed myself in her these past weeks with abandon, but it seemed that our time had run out.Ihad forced it already and had suffered the consequences.Iwould not allow that again.
Shestormed through my door, a vision of rage and fire, hiding all that pain she carried every day.Iknew it too well.Ihad used the same mask for centuries.
“Howdare you?Howdare you?”Sheslammed her palms into my chest.Icouldn’t resist playing this game with her one more time.
“My,Princess, whatever do you mean?Youwere the one who left me in quite a delicate situation.”
“Youknow exactly whatImean!Whatsort of power play is this, thatIcan’t have a sleeping potion?”
Atthat, my own anger swelled.Ihadn’t realized she’d asked again.Ihad hoped she was past this.
“Itold you before,Iwon’t have you using those.”
“Whynot, there is no risk now thatI’mcompletely healed.”
“Thatisn’t the riskIwas ever worried about.”
Shestared at me, unmoving for a long time.Whenshe spoke again, it was barely a whisper, “Youknew.Youalways knew.Didyou see that when…when we exchanged memories?”Wehadn’t talked about that.Hadn’ttalked about so many things.Andnow it was too late.
