Iturned to watch his short bangs flutter in the sea breeze.Jun’slips pressed together, andIwaited until it felt like the minutes had stretched on for the lifetime of our world.
“She… she was the one who was there for me.”
Myheart broke again.Itshould have been me, butIhadn’t been there.PerhapsJunwould one day forgive me for that, butIdon’t know ifIcould forgive myself.
“Ifailed you.Ishould have protected you and kept us together at any cost.ButIswear on the old gods,Iwon’t let that happen again.”
Despitethe heaviness of the day,IthoughtIsaw a small twinkle of starlight in his eyes. “Youknow, oaths like that mean something different now thatIknow you’ve got an old god at your side.”
Thattightness in my chest grew stronger.Ididn’t have him.IknewIneeded to leave to save him, but it still felt likeIwas leaving a part of myself behind.Asingle tear rolled down my cheek, and the silence stretched betweenJunand me again.Itwas so unnatural;Iwasn’t sure whatIhated more.
Thestars twinkled overhead, and the great milky river stretched over the black dome of the sky, gleaming on the moonless night.Itwas calledMaiakin the old language, which meantFinalCrossing, for all souls had to travel the river of stars to pass from our world to whatever lay beyond.
“Iread somewhere that the stars grew lonely in their eternity, so they created dragons to share the sky with.Theygathered up the ashes of a dying star, and from that, the first dragons were born.”Ididn’t wantJunto stop talking, soIsaid nothing. “Eventhough they were killed only a few centuries before we were born, they never seemed real to me.Justanother story, something ridiculous the elders believed.Inever dreamedI’dsee one;Inever dreamed a lot of things...”
Hetrailed off, andIcould feel the deep sadness in his heart right along with my own.Junwasn’t a fighter.Hehad always been a creator.Creatingamazing art and moving music to bring beauty into the world.
Wewere two different people, butIhad no doubt the gods had designed us to complement each other.Icouldn’t stand thatIhad been designed to protect him and wasn’t there when he needed it most.
“Idon’t know what the future holds,Jun.ButIpromise you this, and not on any god, but on my soul, we will face it together.Ican’t promise you any more than that, butIwill stay by your side, no matter what.”
Hemoved just a slight bit closer to me. “Inever blamed you for not being there,Tori.Ialways knew you would come for me.SometimesIjust wish…”
Igave his pinky the slightest squeeze for courage.Hesighed. “Ijust wish thatIdidn’t need you.ThatIcould have saved myself.You’vealways been so strong and fearless.IwishIcould be like that.”
I’dnever heard him voice anything like this, that he wished to be like me.Howmany nights hadIcried myself to sleep as a youngling, wishingIcould have been like him?Graceful, beloved, kind, and soft.Nothardened and brutal.Notcast aside for not fitting the moldIwas destined for.Howtrapped we had both been.
“I’mnot fearless,Jun.I’mafraid all the time.”
“Butstill, you fight on.”Hedidn’t meet my gaze.
“Can’tthink too hard if you don’t stop moving,”Iquipped.Hedidn’t laugh.
“Tori, whatIwent through, those few months, it nearly killed me.Pallashas been with him for nearly five hundred years.Tryto be gentle with her.”
Ithought about that beastIhad seen within her, caged and beaten.Scaredand hurting in a way thatIcouldn’t truly understand.ButIalso thought about her standing atHadeon’sside.Shewas stone-faced, unyielding as he had collaredJunand hurt him.
“Shedoesn’t look like a victim to me.”
“Ibet many people would have said the same about you,” he remarked.Ihad nothing to say to that. “Inever stood up against father for you, and yet you loved me.”
“That’sdifferent.”
“Isit?”Again,Ihad nothing to say. “Itrust her,Tori.Youcan trust her, too.”Atthat,Junrolled on his side, pressing his forehead against my shoulder.Itwas the lightest touch, but it was enough.Theship bobbed on the waves and lulled me closer to sleep.
“Doyou love her,Jun?”Hewas already asleep.Ikissed the top of his head gently and let the ship’s rocking finish its job.
Chapter 12
Tori
Thestars in the sky swirled around me, andIfound myself back in the cave we left behind.Abraxaswas his fae self, sitting by the edge of the glowing spring.
“WhydoInever see you as your true self?Youalways appear as a fae to me?”Isat down beside him, leaning my head against his shoulder.Immediately, his hand ran up my spine and through my hair.Hegripped me gently, pulling me close enough to place a chaste kiss on the top of my head.
“Iwouldn’t want to scare you,Tori.”
Ilaughed at that and leaned into him whenIfelt the scrape of claws against my scalp.Ijerked away to see that wicked smile on his face and long onyx talons that extended from his fingertips.Thatmischievous gleam twinkled in his eyes as the claws slowly faded back into his hands.
