“It’s what he was getting to,” Morgan said easily. “So it’s fine.”
“I didn’t want to say the wrong thing,” Jeremey explained. “And I had no experience with any of this.” Jeremey was a guy who liked a Morgan and had no idea what that meant. Huh.
I had been trying so hard not to say anything stupid before and now I’d hit my limit. “Wow and I thought I had problems liking another guy.” Two guys together, in a romantic way, was something I’d had a distant understanding of, I just hadn’t known it would apply to me.
Oh dammit, I said part of that out loud. It almost felt like a relief to just be a giant moron but I also felt bad. “I mean, I’m sorry. I can bow now, if that helps?” I looked between both of them frantically.
“Give it a try,” Morgan encouraged. Ryan and them getting along made sense.
“Hey,” Jeremey said lightly.
“Fine, don’t bow.” They rolled their eyes. “Yeah, the two of us, we’re figuring it out.”
“Cool, that’s good. I’m happy for you guys.” Oh crap. “I mean you guy and—you you,” I finished lamely, looking at Morgan. “I’m happy for you lifeforms. Is lifeforms the correct term?” This was so complicated!
Not Morgan but, like, language. It’s there all the time and you think you know how it works and then bam, suddenly stuff you’ve always said isn’t right to say anymore. Why couldn’t we have just never said it the wrong way in the first place?
“No, but I like it,” Morgan smiled. “I’m a lifeform.”
“Am I doing terribly at this?” I asked. I wanted to treat Morgan regular, and Ryan told me I should, but… “I’ve never met anyone like you before and I want to be curious if it’s okay to be curious but if it’s not then I don’t and ugh. I don’t want to treat you like a zoo exhibit. Not that you’re an animal! I want to be regular, but do I even know what regular is?” Oh my god. “Sorry,” I said before anyone could answer. “Ignore me.”
Morgan looked at me frankly. “Do you want to know about my sex organs?”
“What, no?” Oh god, was that rude? Did I sound disgusted? It wasn’t about that. “Look, I’m with Ryan, even if things aren’t going great at the moment.” As far as pick up lines went, it was pretty bold.
“No, I. People are usually curious.” Morgan kept watching me and so did Jeremey and he did seem a little scary now. Right, didn’t they like each other?
“Oh. We’re allowed to ask that?” I wondered. No invasive questions was one of the guidelines and that really seemed invasive.
“People do,” they replied shortly. Didn’t exactly sound like a good thing or an answer.
“But… should we?” I asked just to make sure. If I was supposed to be asking about genitals, then I would, even though I didn’t want to. Manners. I thought I knew the gender they were born with, but I wasn’t actively considering their- ew. There were so many other questions I wondered.
“Do you want me to ask you about your penis?” Morgan asked right back.
“No, thank you,” I said politely. “I’m sure you’re really nice and stuff but we just met.”
“That’s how I feel all the time.” Oh. Oh. Huh.
“That sucks,” I said. That would suck.
And also, that sounded like a serious problem they had to deal with, people thinking they could be invasive and had the right to know private stuff and my main question that kept repeating and repeating in my brain just seemed really silly, so I should stop thinking about it. Just stop. Turn off your brain. That should be easy for me.
But then whenever you tried not to think about something…
“You still have a question?” Morgan said after a moment.
“Is that okay?” I wondered. “Sorry if this makes it even worse, but to be honest, it’s not about you.” That totally made it worse, didn’t it? “It’s more about those people who are both.” Wait. “But not bi both, I get that. Uh, I mean—"
“Genderfluid? Okay, go ahead.”
“Oh, thank god.” I was dying to know. “Do you think there’s ever Clark Kent/Superman moments?” I had probably gotten stuck on the wrong point but that’s what I wanted to know ever since learning you could be both like that. And I had to start the knowledge somewhere, right?
They stared at me for a moment before slowly saying, “I don’t watch TV.”
No, that answer was not going to cut it. “Or watch movies or read? Superman is everywhere.” There were a ton of things I didn’t know, but I got Superman.
“Alright,” they conceded. “What I mean is, I don’t know where you’re going with this.”
