It started on familiar ground. I got everyone’s attention so we could talk and then—
“Come on Mom, the season hasn’t even started yet,” Ted Summers joked, not even looking at me while getting his iPod out of his backpack. He hadn’t taken it very well when I started dating Ryan, so that was one person on Sam’s side.
“At least wait until we’ve played a game or two to start nagging about proper towel etiquette,” joked the second basemen, Greg Sentient Elbow Macaroni, joining in with Ted.
“It’s called being respectful of other people’s time!” I responded immediately, jumping back into an old argument without any time to be embarrassed about it. “It’s not that hard to put your towel in thegiantcart in the locker room! Don’t make someone else pick up after your lazy asses.” My mother raised me better than that.
“Putting coasters under our drinks at parties is a little much,” Jesse our back up third basemen said. Okay, I did that at parties sometimes when I was drunk. I was the only drunk person with the overwhelming urge to tidy up instead of trash things. “But that time you didn’t take off your hat when the national anthem started?” he told Greg, shaking his head. “Coach would havedestroyedyou.”
Jesse gave me a friendly smile. He was a sophomore and the nicest guy on the team. At least I’d have one person on my side.
“Actually,” I said, getting back on track. “I wanted to hear what you all had to say.” Sometimes I didn’t mind all eyes on me. I liked it, when pitching on the baseball diamond. Wasn’t really one of those times now. “If there’s any concerns or thoughts we need to talk about, get out of the way, any problems with me—"
“Where to begin,” Ted Flabby Ass pondered, stroking a hand over his chin. “Where to begin. Wait.” He looked around. “Are you doing this now because Zach’s not here?”
If Zach were here, this conversation would never end, but no. “No, because,” I fidgeted and then tried not to. “You know, because I’m dating a guy.”
And there went the fun, light atmosphere in the air.
“Do we have to do this again?” That was from someone who hadn’t even spoken yet, Relief Pitcher Bubble Guppies.
“Yeah,” Ted agreed. “We covered this last year.” Taking a guy with green hair seriously was difficult. Maybe that would work in my favor.
The guys started discussing this among themselves, no discussing whether we should even discuss this, and I kinda tuned out. I was mostly thinking about Bubble Guppies. Oh my god.
Okay, here’s what happened.
Ryan couldnotremember anyone on the team to save his life. I suspected this was because his life wasn’t actually in danger and he wasn’t trying very hard. He seemed to remember who I was talking about if we used nicknames, and it made him laugh, so win-win.
Our basic system had been describing guys by their position and best or worst features. And then somehow that changed to also include the specific herd of animals that would trample, eat, or try to impregnate different members of the baseball team.
By somehow, I of course mean Ryan. Ryan started pondering the animals most likely to eat, trample, or impregnate my teammates. He had ascarymind. I didn’t want to like that about him, but I totally did.
The First Baseman with Sausage Fingers brought me back into the conversation. “You’re not coming out again, are you?” he asked with dread. Ha, that hadn’t been fun for him? Wasn’t a blast for me either.
“He already did that,” Leftfield Miniature Flying Tortoise reminded him with a frown.
“I don’t know how it works,” defended FBSF. “Gays are dramatic, maybe they have to come out more than once.” Some people seemed to think that was a good point, nodding their heads and looking at me warily.
“I’m bi,” I spoke up. Addressing that part was easier than tackling the rest.
I tried not to be annoyed. They didn’t know any better. Why the hell would anyone want to come out to the same people again and again? Because the first time was so much fun? Yeah right.
“How about we don’t talk about this anymore,” Greg Sentient Elbow Macaroni said forcefully, his words sounded like a suggestion but weren’t really.
“Actually,” Sam chose that moment to pipe up. “Maybe we should think about our options for captain this year.”
“Like you?” Ted asked. “Yeah right.”
“Not even about that.” Sam made a noise of consideration. “What about Zach?” he spoke like it just occurred to him. “Coach is always saying he could do more.” And Zach always said no but whatever.
The guys spoke amongst themselves, some reluctantly nodding their heads, others still unsure.
“I don’t know,” Ted voiced to the group after a moment. He looked at me. Thank god! Finally, someone was—“He may not be as obvious as Chambers, but what happens if another dude comes out and is hot?”
There was a pause as Ted’s statement hung in the air. Then, a bunch of voices spoke at the same time.
“Wait, he was serious about that?” someone muttered. Someone else seemed glad not because they were down with the rainbow, because that meant more girls for the rest of them in theory.
