“He was making out with Bridget Evans last week,” said someone else.
“Thought I saw him hitting on a guy at a party once, but I assumed I had too much to drink.”
“Saw him on a date at the movies once and I hadn’t been drinking then.”
“What?” Sam asked once all the chatter died down. “Zach’s not—”
“Yeah, he is, and if you think he’s being discreet out of respect or consideration for us,” Ted laughed. “Then you’re really, really dumb. He’d probably be willing to throw it in everyone’s faces if the opportunity presented itself.” 100% accurate. “Hell, if the guy was hot enough, Zach might go at it right over there on home plate.”
“You’re not wrong,” I told Ted. “But let’s get back on track.” I turned to Sam, who was still reeling from the not at all shocking revelation about Zach. “If you’re not happy with something, we can talk about it.” He didn’t say anything immediately, so I turned to everyone else. “Am I not a good captain?”
When everyone else was hesitant to speak, Sam came forward again with that un-charm he had. “You’re a great captain,” he reassured in a totally fake way. Apparently, he agreed with me. “That sounded like BS, but I mean it.” He met my gaze. “You did a really good job last year.”
And then he didn’t make a face or add an insult or something, he just seemed sincere, so I didn’t really know what to do with that.
“Uh, okay,” I said. “Don’t I deserve to be captain again then?” Yes, but I didn’t answer my own question.
No one answered right away. Even if a lot of them didn’t chime in with the main voices against me, no one rushed to my defense either. Zach and Joey weren’t here, not that they would defend me either. Not because they were against me but because that might be a lot of effort.
Telling whether most of the guys agreed with Sam or just wanted to see how this played out was challenging. I didn’t want to look at anyone while discussing this, afraid to see disgust or distrust, but a lot of the guys seemed to meet my gaze. That was good right?
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” said Sam, not particularly sounding like he meant it since we all obviously knew what he thought was wrong with me. “Just, for captain, wouldn’t it be more comfortable to have someone…”
“Straighter?” I filled in when he trailed off.
“Sorry, man,” said Kevin the junior who would be trampled by zebras that had been conspiring with Sam. “Just how some of us feel.” There were noises of agreement.
“We made do last year cause we had to,” Sam said. “But now things can be different. We want the other teams to take us seriously, not laugh at us. It’s nothing personal.”
That almost made it worse. Nothing personal, I just don’t like gay people. Who cares how long I’ve known you or that we’ve been teammates for three years? Yeah, way worse.
“I’m the same person I was last year,” I told him and the rest of the team, trying to meet their eyes. Again, some did look back at me. A few people didn’t.
“Didn’t see you kissing another dude all over the place before last year,” he quipped and some of the guys chuckled.
“And it’s a pride thing,” Greg said.
“The parade?” I asked in confusion. “That’s all about being gay.”
“It was a word before that,” Jesse said. “Queers can’t take everything from us.” And he was supposed to be the nice one! Was this because I didn’t let him drink alcohol at parties? He was a freshman last year!
“Whatever,” I said, more forcefully than I meant to, so I tried to be calmer as I continued. “I just don’t think my dating habits should decide whether I’m captain or not.”
“What did you think was gonna happen?” Sam sneered. “You and your BF continue to be all over each other. It’s embarrassing, having a queer in charge, taking orders from a fag.”
“Careful,” I warned. “You’re not supposed to say that here.” Afterschool but we were on school grounds. And it had been before school when I got in trouble.
“Hurt your delicate ears?” he asked with a nasty smile.
“No, I’m watching out for you.” Like a good captain. “No guy would ever want to kiss you.”
There was silence for a moment.
“Good!” he yelled, laughing a bit in disbelief. Oh, maybe what I said didn’t make much sense. “Just because you’re playing for a different team now doesn’t mean we all have to be fa—"
“There’s a tolerance policy,” I interrupted. “Pretend to be tolerant. Or look around before you run your mouth.”
I had or hadn’t learned my lesson about the tolerance policy. Wasn’t sure. I got caught using a bad word and then I ended up with a fake boyfriend and then a real boyfriend. I had learned lots of things, mostly about myself. Not so much about tolerance.
