“Continue to sing it, sister,” I said. Great input, Ryan, I thought or maybe said because Lydia glared at me, but she did that a lot.
“I’m 70% positive this is one of those times where you just like to hear yourself speak,” Joey told Zach.
Zach smiled sweetly at Joey and the other guy rightfully realized bad things were about to happen as he drew in a sharp breath.
“What about slapping guys on the ass for a good game,” the shortstop said, zeroing in on the catcher, eyes lit up with cruel torment.
“I should be recording this,” Lydia muttered and Alicia shushed her.
“Every time you tag someone out at home and tell them to suck it when the umpire’s distracted—” Zach continued and then tried to make an innocent face, which looked weird because he was clearly having so much fun at someone else’s expense, as he wondered, “Whatexactlyare you telling them to suck?” He brought a finger to his lips and pretended to think about it, like it was such a puzzle.
“This is mean,” Joey tried.
“You stare down guys with more muscles than you,” Zach reminded him. “And sure, your face looks murderous, but you’re still staring deeply into another man’s eyes.”
“Shut up,” Joey groaned. “Why are you taking everything I love and turning it against me?” I looked towards him to see him putting his hands over his ears.
“Also gay,” Zach continued. “Is everything involving wrestling, everything about cars, and the way all guys want to have the biggest… slice of pizza.” He sent Luke’s pizza an important look while Luke tried to cover it from his gaze. “You can’t just have the biggest slice, all the other guys have toknowyou have the largest piece of the pie too.”
“Preach,” I said, deciding to start that up again.
“I’m out of luck, is that what you’re saying?” Luke asked hesitantly. The furrow was back in action. I wanted to kiss it away.
“You were already captain when you came out,” Zach said. “They couldn’t complain then. But now they need to assert their straightness. It’s not about you. It’s about them being big, whiny, giant babies while pretending they’re big strong men.
“Amen, sister,” I said and applauded. Mainly because it seemed to annoy Zach. He sent me a death glare and I loved it.
“I think I actually agree with Zach?” Joey asked distantly. He had taken his hands off his ears, but they were still hovering there, like they were ready to protect himself again at a moment’s notice. “It’s all BS.”
“None of this is going to change anything,” Zach continued. “You’re going to be captain. They just wanna say they tried to protest the gay so their straight virtue will remain intact. It’s a pointless but ultimately harmless dance.”
“And dancing,” Joey said. “Is also gay, right?”
Zach shrugged. “I guess, that’s the perception.”
Joey looked proud of himself.
“I’m just supposed to ignore it,” Luke said. “Forget it and do what I need to do as captain.”
While he did just like to hear himself talk, Zach looked relieved when Luke said that. Aww, he really had been trying to help. “Yes, exactly,” Zach said with a smile. “Eyes on the ball, stay in the zone, whatever. Be our fearless leader.”
Luke thought about that. “Pass,” he decided with a shrug. “Think I’m just gonna go hang out with Ryan instead.”
“Woohooo!” I exclaimed.
I didn’t hate baseball as much as I pretended to because it was important to Luke, but still, this wasn’t a terrible turn of events. Really sucked that the baseball guys were being jerks, yet I wasn’t about to look a gift boyfriend in the mouth… that’s a weird expression.
“Hey, thought you were on my side,” Zach said, frowning at me. “Not sister,” he added. Rude.
“In a secondary capacity,” I replied. “I’m onmyteam. More time with Luke and less with baseball? Really great for Ryan.” I shrugged in aneh, what can you doway. “You see where I’m coming from, right?”
Zach gave a resigned sigh. “Yeah.”
Instead of being a spectator who dropped by to make out with me, Luke was now all in and going to help me complete my list of new experiences. He was also going to make out with me. Win-win. Hey, that’s even better than one win because its two.
And it’s even better than two wins because it includes making out with Luke. Score.
5.Bowling isn’t a Blood Sport
