"No." I believed him. Rob tended to be hard on himself, which I took as a good sign. He wasn’t impressed with his actions in the past and aimed to do better this time around. He did not strike me as a bad person, just a bit lost.
Plus, regardless of whatever he’d done in the past, he was now helping me track down a killer who took his loved one from him. He definitely deserved some credit for that.
"Anyway," he said. “I just thought you should know.”
Part of me wondered why he felt compelled to bring it up. But I understood. In quiet moments like this, I sometimes shared a similar urge to unburden myself.
Dammit. There were so many things I wanted to tell Rob. He deserved to know about what he stumbled into, about the true nature of Hell. The mage believed we were only up against an earthly realm that affectionately called itself hell. He had no idea about the planet Hell and what the demons there were capable of. But there was no way to explain without revealing how we found out. And what happened after…
Nobody was allowed to know about the other worlds anyway. Anyone who did had to take this knowledge to their grave or face the wrath of one of the few beings who scared me. Virtually anyone who ever met Rob Walters would say he was the last person who could be trusted with a secret of this magnitude.
Yet between the two of us, he was so much more honest than me. He even made it look easy. I found myself wanting to follow in his example all the time, just force myself to start talking and not stop until the truth finally worked its way to the surface.
“Rob, I… You should know…” None of the right words escaped. “Rob, there’s things I need to tell you. So much I wish I could say."
“Sure, go ahead."
"If I knew how, I would. Not all of us know how to send out stream after stream of bullshit from our lips."
That sounded a lot more judgmental out loud than in my head. This was why I never did pillow talk. I sucked at it.
The moment switched from quiet and lazy to tense. Annoyance crossed his features as he put distance between us on the bed. "Okay, weren’t we talking about your shortcomings and not mine?"
"It’s not a shortcoming."
"Right.” He rolled his eyes. “Orion Lennox is so perfect, he has no flaws."
"No, I was talking about you. Maybe ‘bullshit’ isn’t the right word,” I corrected. “You just… you have a way of putting everything out there, your faults, your mistakes. I admire that you don’t hold back. You’re fearless in that regard.” I felt the scowl form on my face. “I’m sorry I can’t do the same."
"Dude, it’s fine. I get it. You’re Mr. Lone Wolf. You’re even worse at working with people than me."
"Apparently so.” At least long term.
The tension drained away, but we didn’t return to each other’s arms. That moment had ended and now we were two people awkwardly sharing the same space. It was strange how close we seemed sometimes. Having him in my apartment and sharing magic and sex created an intimacy between us.
I had once insisted we not sleep together. It was supposed to keep us safe, to keephimsafe. Now we were in bed together and none of this was safe anymore. And the intimacy wasn’t real. I needed to remember that. Because if he knew the truth, if I ever found the words, everything would change.
I spent so long denying my personal demons that I’d almost convinced myself I was really the man I wanted to be. When the time came to dig up all my skeletons and face them once again, I found that I had no power over my demons anymore, but they could still bring me to my knees.
Rob deserved to know the truth. About Hell. About me. About Taryn. He deserved to know a long time ago. No matter how long it took, I’d find the strength to tell him the truth.
I just hoped it wouldn’t be too late.
13.Why Don’t Sneak Attacks Ever Come with a Warning?
Rob
Everything happened so fast. It was almost showtime.
Barring Lex from the clubs gave us some time, but we still needed to take him down as soon as possible. A partner could still bring the people to him, but Bad Mother was the opposite of non-threatening. He’d have a harder time luring away someone peacefully and didn’t seem like an incubus either. Orion rocked the scary sexy thing, but this guy? Just scary.
So, we had a little breathing room, but we didn’t slow down.
The following two weeks were a blur of magic and sex. Until finally we were strong enough to summon Lex to us and end his destructive appetites for good.
Fortunately, there was no time to let feelings get in the way. Not my inconvenient feelings for the most unfun incubus everornerves about seeing my childhood monster again.
We had a job to do, and we were ready.
