Dae laughed. “We really need to write easier drum parts for our music.”
“Nah, half the fun is the looming terror of fucking it up,” Lance returned.
I laughed along with everyone else. It was nice to hear people talk about their art. The boys bantered on, and I noticed the girls that had been with them weren’t around anymore. I wondered if they’d gotten bored of the whole thing. Honestly, they hadn’t seemed all that interested in anything going on to begin with, so it wouldn’t have surprised me in the slightest if they’d decided to go home rather than hang out at a party.
Then Dae was calling for shots.
“To Dreamscape and an amazing gig!” he yelled over the crowd.
Everyone tossed back their drinks.
It seemed that the band was intent on getting wasted. Because no sooner had we finished the first round of shots than Lance was calling for another. Then, with my head alreadystarting to spin, it was Henry’s turn. They all toasted the band, the end of the semester, the gig. I decided to set down my drink while everyone took their shots to Henry’s toast.
Thankfully, that was the last of it. The group continued chatting away excitedly.
“What did you think about the performance?” Lance asked me.
It felt like a test.
“You guys were obviously incredible!” I tried to shove as much enthusiasm into my words as possible. “But then, you always are.”
Dae and Henry laughed.
“I can’t believe you aren’t sick of our music yet,” Dae said. “You’ve been to how many shows?”
“A few.” My ears felt like they were turning red. I’d been to more shows than even Grey was aware of.
“Wait.” Henry turned to Grey, incredulous. “You’ve been bringing him to shows, and this is the first time you thought to upgrade him to backstage?”
“Dick move,” Lance chimed in.
That wasn’t fair to Grey. Our… relationship was complicated, and he had a goddamn girlfriend for fuck’s sake.What was he supposed to do?But before I could get too worked up to defend Grey, everyone burst out laughing.
“We’re just giving him a hard time,” Dae said, a knowing look in his eye. “But it’s okay. Grey can take it.”
Grey’s hand brushed against mine, and a thrill shot through me. He did it casually, as if he didn’t necessarily realize he was doing it, but when his hand stayed in place, I knew it was intentional. I reached out to him with my pinky—the tiniest move was enough to meet him. I wrapped my finger around his, holding my breath as I waited to see if it was too much—if I’d crossed a line and he would pull away. But he didn’t. He wrapped the tip of his finger around mine in turn.
Warmth bloomed in my chest. It was crazy and stupid to think that this, us standing among his bandmates with two tiny fingers holding onto each other, was the most intimate thing I’d ever felt. I wasn’t a virgin. I’d had enough sex in my life to knowthatshould’ve been the closest I would feel to someone. But it never had been. It had always felt like more of an impulse, an evolutionary necessity, than vulnerable or intimate. Maybe that was why it was always so easy for me to leave. I’d never felt the intimacy that most of the girls I’d slept with seemed to feel.
But that wasn’t this.Thiswas something else. It was a silly entangling of our fingers, but it felt like he was reaching out and wrapping around the very essence of me. It didn’t stem from evolution. I couldn’t even put it into words. This felt almostsupernatural. There was no rhyme or reason to the feeling—like our two souls were intertwining at the place our fingers touched, and my whole universe was suddenly contained in the tiny space.
I glanced at Grey, and he met my gaze with one so intense, it was like looking into the sun. I had to turn away.
“Want to get out of here?”
And go where?I wanted to ask.Does he mean “get out of here” as in go home by myself? Or even more terrifying, does he mean “get out of here” as in go home to his place?Obviously, we’d stayed the night together before, and nothing had happened, but I gravitated to him and desired him so much, I knew I wouldn’t have the same self-control tonight. Or maybe he was just asking me to go get some late-night McDonald’s.
But his eyes still held that intensity, and I couldn’t bring myself to speak, much less ask a question. I wasn’t sure if I was afraid that speaking would break whatever spell had come over us or what, but my body had completely rejected the idea ofverbal communication. So, I nodded.Yes, I’d follow you to the ends of the earth.God, I was corny.
His hand wrapped fully around mine. “We’re going to head out,” he told the others to disappointed groans.
Dae, however, seemed to expect nothing less. His eyes flicked down to our clasped hands. “Have a good night, you two.”
His tone was too mischievous for my liking, like he was in on the joke.What has Grey told him?
I frowned, but Grey was leading me away from the rest of Dreamscape. We passed the room full of partiers, went back down the stairs, and left the building. Then it was just me and Grey and whatever the night brought us.
Chapter 21
