Dangerous Game
The cold night air was a welcome change when it greeted my face. The temperature had dropped considerably since our arrival at the party, and it relieved the heat that seemed determined to cling to my ears, cheeks, and neck. We came to a stop and stood beside each other on the sidewalk. Apparently, neither of us knew where to go from there.
I’d never been this flushed before. The heat put my body on edge and made my limbs feel weak and energized simultaneously. Like my body was preparing for some threat that I wasn’t yet aware of. Then I realized what was going on. It was adrenaline. Everyone called it the fight-or-flight reflex, but they often left out the third “F” in that sequence.Fuck.I realized that was what my body was preparing for, and that realization did little to make the sensation less odd.
Because I’d never felt this way in the buildup to any of the times I’d had sex.So, why do I feel so strange now?I felt about to explode or fall over right here on the spot. It wasn’t even like we were planning on sleeping together. At least, not that we’d discussed.
“Are you okay?” Grey’s breath flew from his mouth in a giant plume of fog in the cold night air.
I forced a smile. “I’m great.” I shivered, but it wasn’t from the cold. My nerves had me trembling.
“You look great.”
Normally, I would’ve rolled my eyes or tried to play it off in some other way. But ever since the wedding and that damn hotel, my ability to play it cool had been considerably damaged. Now, I was as uncool as when I’d first met Grey—when I’d stammered an awkwardhibefore running away with my tail tucked between my legs.
Instead, I lamely looked at the ground, unable to meet his eyes when I asked the question on my mind. “Where do you want to go?” I whispered in the dark.
Something touched the bottom of my chin and forced me to look up into Grey’s eyes. I realized belatedly that it must’ve been his free hand because he had yet to let go of me with his other one.
Grey’s face was so close to mine. The vapors of our breath mingled in what little air stood between us. I gazed into his eyes that looked almost black in the dark. I wanted to close the distance. God I wanted to. But the distance wasn’t the only thing standing between us.
The Carina of it all had yet to be discussed to my liking. And I was too drunk—and, let’s face it, horny—to have an objective conversation about that particular topic at the moment. He could give the flimsiest of excuses, and I would lock lips with him, the damage to my heart or anyone else’s be damned.
A nervous sort of smile crossed Grey’s face. “I was thinking we could go back to my place. We’re only a few blocks away.”
New warmth flooded my cheeks and up my ears with such intensity, it felt like they were on fire. I was sure if I touched my face, I would burn myself. I took a tiny step closer. That was weird. I hadn’t told my feet to move. My body had done it of its own volition. “What would we do?”
Grey swallowed hard enough for me to hear it. I watched his Adam’s apple move as he did so and wanted to know what his neck would taste like. A fresh wave of electricity swept over me. My body hummed with barely contained energy.
“What would you want to do?” His face was closer to mine.
Is he going to kiss me?
“I don’t think I’m in a good state of mind to answer that question.” I was trying to be coy, but I wasn’t sure if it came across that way. The air caught in my lungs. I couldn’t breathe properly.
“Is that so?” His eyes sparked dangerously.
Some more carnal version of desire ignited there. It made me weak in the knees.
“Yeah—I mean, we’re both drunk, so…” I didn’t know where I was going with that, so I let it drop. I was too winded to come up with a coherent argument anyway.Why shouldn’t we give in?We’d fought it all semester.If months of trying to keep anything from happening still leads to a moment where all we want to do is give in, what’s the point?
“So…” he echoed. God he was getting even closer. “What would your idea be in your current state of mind?”
“I—” I couldn’t think of a single thing I wanted to do more than close the tiny distance between us. Any effort I made to think ofanythingother than the fact that his lips wereright thereran into dead ends in my head. “I… I don’t…”
Then Grey’s lips were on mine, forming to them perfectly. As if our mouths had been designed for each other. My breath hitched in my throat, and my body quivered. I fell into him, my knees losing all ability to hold me upright. Grey caught me, his arms strong as he let go of my face and my hand only to hold me so close to him, I could’ve sworn he was trying to meld us together.
I’d dreamed of kissing Grey before, but that imagined kiss had been nothing—absolutely nothing—compared to this. This was real and rugged and intense. Every kiss I’d had up to this point had been with a girl, and I couldn’t help but compare the two. Girls were soft, squishy, malleable. Some part of that must’ve lingered in my subconscious when I’d dreamed of kissing him because there was none of that here. Grey was all strength and iron. Even his mouth was powerful under his full lips, and his arms were firm as they wrapped around me and held me up. There was a sense of rightness in how he touched me. Everything seemed to click into place in my head.
Thiswas what I’d always wanted from a kiss—the thing that had been missing from any physical relationship I’d ever had. It was hard to wrap my head around. I hadn’t been bad at relationships. I’d just chosen the wrong ones. And now that I had Grey’s lips on mine, I never wanted to stop. I didn’t think I could stop myself from kissing him if every deity in the sky appeared before me in that moment and demanded that I do so.
So, I let him kiss me. And I enjoyed the taste of him—the saltiness of his skin, the way his tongue grazed my upper lip. My knees found their strength then, and I pushed into him, backing him against something solid—a railing, I realized distantly. Grey gasped into my mouth on impact, and his teeth grazed my skin before gently biting my bottom lip.
My hands found the small of his back, and I pulled his waist into me, reveling in the pressure of him against my skin. This was everything I’d ever wanted from him and, somehow, so much more.
What about Carina?a treacherous voice whispered in the back of my head.
It killed the momentum of the moment, which all things considered, might’ve been a good thing. The last thing I wantedwas for the first time I had sex with Grey to be at the bottom of the stairs to an apartment building.
