I couldn’t believe I was beginning to view sex with him as an inevitability rather than merely a possibility. But I needed resolution before I let things continue. So, with a colossal effort, I forced myself to stop kissing him and pulled away.
Confusion flickered across Grey’s face. Clearly, he hadn’t expected such an abrupt stop. To be fair, neither had I. And judging by how hard certain body parts were, neither of us were prepared to do anything but keep going. But I couldn’t. I had to be strong, even if he wasn’t willing to be. Doing the right thing sucked so much.
“What’s wrong?” Grey asked, his chest heaving as he caught his breath.
My eyes hardened despite the fact that our legs were very much intertwined. “Carina.”
“What about her?”
“She’s your girlfriend.”Why do I have to keep reminding him of that?
He was silent, his breathing eventually slowing to its normal rhythm. “I told you, it’s complicated.” His voice came out as an almost growl.
“Then, explain it to me,” I said. “I can’t, in good conscience, do…thisunless you tell me what’s going on.”
From his pained expression, I would’ve thought I’d just asked him to chop off his own foot. “Ethan, I can’t. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just—”
I stepped away from him mid-sentence. “You just what?” I snapped.
He blinked at me, bleary-eyed. Clearly, being drunk was better as an aphrodisiac than energy for a fight. I could see him struggling to come up with the words.
Had I been more sober, I might’ve given him more time. But as it was, I was pissed. We were playing a dangerous game. Three people were invested in its outcome, and one of them had to lose for the others to win. Until he said the words to convince me otherwise, I would assume that the one to lose would be me. Because of course it would be. That was how life worked.
The closer I grew to him, the more my past stances on love proved right. Nice on paper, but it never went according to plan. I’d been stupid to think that my feelings for him could ever be more than a fleeting crush. I’d been stupid to think that we could even just be friends. Clearly, we were incapable of that. And for whatever reason, he seemed incapable of letting me in. It was enough to make anyone lose their mind.
“Tell me what’s going on.” The words were harsh as they left my lips. “Why can’t you just tell me?”
“Because I’m scared!” Grey said in a rush, louder than was necessary.
I blinked and took a step back.
He ran a hand over his face. “I’m scared,” he repeated then looked at the ground as if he were ashamed. “I don’t know what to do.”
“You can trust me.” I placed my hand on his chest, hoping that he would feel my earnestness in my touch.
The faintest hint of a smile crossed Grey’s lips. “That’s what Carina said.”
What’s that supposed to mean? Did she tell him about our conversation backstage?The more he let slip, the more questions I had.
“Then you should listen to her,” I pleaded. “Trust me.”
Grey sighed. “It’s a long story…” He began then paused. He seemed to be fighting some internal battle. A pained look crossed his face.
“I don’t mind a long story,” I coaxed.
“I—I don’t think I can tell it tonight.” He looked exhausted. “Can we talk about it tomorrow?”
I couldn’t hide my frustration. My face fell in spite of my best attempts to appear neutral. “Sure, Grey. We can talk tomorrow.”
I turned to leave, but his hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping me.
“Ethan, I promise I’ll tell you tomorrow,” he said, more earnest now than I’d ever heard him before.
It was enough to turn me around, and I looked him in the eye. The pain there made my heart ache for him.Dammit, how does he disarm me like that?
“Will you stay the night?” Grey asked. “We don’t have to do anything… actually, weshouldn’tdo anything physical. I just don’t want to be alone tonight.”
He looked like he was about to cry, and I couldn’t help my confusion. He’d never seemed so vulnerable. Grey was always confident, almost to a fault. Sure, he could be tender and thoughtful, but never like this. Except—my brain was sluggishly connecting dots—he’d behaved similarly that one night in the hotel room.
