So, what is it then? Did he have a sudden change of heart and decide that staying in his role with Carina would make him safer? Did he decide that I wasn’t worth the risk?
My heart skipped a beat in my chest. That must be it He’d decided I wasn’t worth the risk to be with, and that was why he’d stopped responding to me. He would continue on as he had, with Carina as his fake girlfriend, where he would be safe from crazy fans. And I would fade into obscurity as nothing more to him than someone he’d almost had sex with one time. The asshole could’ve made the decisionbeforeI went and told my parents about him.
Rolling over, I buried my face in my pillow. I thought about screaming into it—to get some sort of release from the sudden, intense, burning emotions that kindled in my chest, but I stayed quiet and still.
I should’ve known better.God, why was I so stupid as to think that someone like Grey would think I’m worth risking it all for? So stupid.My face grew warm, flushed with embarrassment, then damp with tears. Oh shit, I was crying. Crying over a guy who wouldn’t text me back. I had never criedover an unreturned text. This was a new one for me. Normally, I was the ghost-er, not the ghost-ee.
Maybe the whole school year had been nothing but a big ball of karma meant to humble me and teach me to treat people better. I thought about Piper, and guilt joined the emotions twisting in my gut.
I pulled my legs up to curl into a ball.Stupid, stupid, stupid.The words echoed inside my head like a malicious chorus hell-bent on torturing me. Stifling a sob, I tried to control my breathing. I took a huge gulp of air, counted to ten, then exhaled. And again. And again.
I wokewith a dry mouth and an aching head. Somehow, with all the emotional turmoil, I’d passed out. It was dark outside, but that didn’t exactly give me an indication of what time it was since it was the dead of winter. I ran my hands over my tired eyes and tried to find my phone. It took a minute, but eventually, I found it under my left thigh.
How long was I out?
A glance at my phone told me that I had no new notifications, but I didn’t even get a chance to check the time before Kellan barged into the room followed closely by Josh.
“Jesus!” I yelled, nearly jumping from my skin. I was definitely fucking awake now. “A closed door usually means you should knock.”
“No time for that,” Kellan said with frenzied eyes.
Normally, I would take that as Kellan’s natural inclination for the dramatic, but Josh looked just as severe. My stomach dropped. “What is it?” I forced myself to ask, my throat somehow dryer than it had been when I woke.
Kellan and Josh exchanged a glance.Oh no.Dread ran down my spine like water had been poured over my head. Something had happened. Kellan was suddenly at a loss for words.
“It’s Grey.” Josh pulled out his phone and tapped the screen a couple of times before holding it out to me.
Whatever I’d been expecting, it definitely wasnotto find Snapchat pulled up to the map of campus.
“He’s all over Redmond’s Snapchat.”
“Snapchat?” I repeated, somehow understanding less. I’d downloaded the app once in my senior year of high school and had deleted it almost immediately. Numbly, I clicked on the bubble hovering over Redmond on the map.
The first snap loaded. It was a dark picture except for the text in the middle.
Grey Hyun just dumped his girlfriend!!!
I clicked next.
Grey Hyun, if you need anything, I’m free this Saturday at 8pm for anything you want.
More and more snaps loaded. It was a barrage of comments, jokes, and a few provocative images as I scrolled. Every one seemed to be from thirsty fangirls excited by the prospect of a newly single Grey.
“He and Carina broke up,” Kellan said. “You wouldn’t know anything about this, would you?”
My eyebrows tugged up in confusion. “He said something before break… but we haven’t talked about that in weeks. He hasn’t even been responding to my texts for the past couple of days…”
“So, he dumped her just cuz?” Josh asked.
“Or because he wants to slut around campus,” Kellan said sagely. “It wouldn’t be out of character for a guy in a band to do that.”
My cheeks flushed with annoyance. “No, that’s not why he would do that. He told me…” I trailed off, suddenly uncertain of my words. Maybe what he’d told me had all been a lie to get me to go along with what he wanted.Is he capable of that level of deception?
I glanced at my phone again. Still no text. The goddamn radio silence was going to be the death of me. I just knew it.
Josh and Kellan exchanged looks again. This time, there was uncertainty there.
I shook my head to clear it. I needed to fill in my friends. “The last night before I went home, I went to Grey’s concert…” I began and continued into a whole play-by-play of the night—Grey kissing me, his confession of his past trauma, the reason he wouldn’t just break up with Carina to date other people, the fact that he liked me, us having almost sex. I even told them about our conversations over text leading up to me coming out to my parents.
