“That was mean, and you know it. They still won’t leave me alone. That lady convinced my housekeeper to let her into my penthouse, and she was in my bathtub, waiting to ambush me.”
“She could be your girlfriend, then,” I suggest.
Anton and McCarthy both recoil. The doorman crosses himself.
“She has children his age. Have a heart, miss.”
“Ah… well, then…”
“Also, she has a monkey,” McCarthy adds. “Like, a big one. Someone needs to call animal control on that chimpanzee. Now that’s a PR disaster waiting to happen.”
“Oh my god,I know!”
In the rearview mirror, McCarthy mimes slitting his throat, so I lower my voice as I speak into my headset while navigating through morning rush-hour traffic. “Like, seriously, he popped out of the casket like a jack-in-the-box.”
“You should sue him. You can’t just post videos of someone online like that to make money without their permission. Brock has to make you sign a waiver,” Hannah insists.
“I mean, technically I did sign one a while ago when we were still together.”
Behind me, McCarthy mutters something under his breath that sounds like “Jesus fucking Christ, this woman.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, especially since Nathan failed to meet the very low standard set for him.” Hannah sighs.
“YouandMcCarthy—why don’t you like Nathan?” I whisper into the headset because I don’t need to give McCarthy any more ammunition.
He swears under his breath. “Because that guy is cheating on you.”
“No, he’s not!”
“Ehhh,” Hannah says. “I mean…”
McCarthy rummages around in my purse then holds up one of the dating books he bought.Yes, Girl, He IS Cheating on You!the title screams in bright-yellow font.
“That’s not what Nessa Rosemary thinks. She’s a witch, by the way, and she doesn’t like Nathan either.” He tosses the book onto the passenger’s seat next to me. “But let me guess, you’reso in loveandperfectly happy in your relationship, thank you.”
I watch him mock me in the rearview mirror.
“You need to buy a limo with a divider,” I snap at him.
“Hell will freeze over before I let you drive a limo, Cupcake. Watch out!”
I blare the horn as I almost run into the car in front of me.
“No backseat driving! Sir!” I say sweetly.
I’m craving coffee and sugar when we finally pull up in front of Dani’s Doughnuts.
“I need fried pastry,” I gasp as I crawl out of the car. I am wearing a skirt at a normal length today. I would have worn my pantsuit except I couldn’t button the top button.
“I feel like we spend an inordinate amount of time on your personal errands.”
“Guess you shouldn’t have lost your license, then, buddy. Besides, this is for you,” I tell him as the clerk waves us up to the counter. “You’re going to be the awesome boss who brings doughnuts to the office. Hi! Pickup for Jenna!” I dig my coupons out of my bag as Dani sets the bags of doughnut boxes on the counter. “I have these from the newspaper, but I think they expired yesterday. Do you think you can—”
McCarthy slaps my hand. “You’re not seriously trying to con her into taking your expired coupons. Don’t be that customer.”
“You’re the world’s biggest dick, so what do you care?”
“Yes, but not to service workers. Excuse her, her non-dead fiancé is cheating on her, and she’s in denial,” McCarthysays to the baker, who giggles when the handsome man smiles and hands her his credit card with a flourish.
