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She lifted her bag. All the paperwork and arrangements were inside. She just had to hand them over.
Riley was holding the door open. Large flakes of snow were falling outside. Even though it was still morning, the sky had a grey tinge.
They started walking across the courtyard. ‘Coffee shop or canteen?’
April shrugged. ‘Either.’
‘How hungry are you? Do you want an early lunch?’
She shook her head.
‘Then coffee shop it is.’
They walked over to the coffee shop and he held the door for her again. ‘Take a seat. I’ll get the coffee.’
She sat down on a red fabric sofa next to the lit fire. There was a garland above the fireplace and red tinsel adorning the walls. November. Another place with decorations. The music being piped around the room was a medley of Christmas songs. She smiled. This would have driven Mallory crazy. She used to say that Christmas seemed to begin as soon as Halloween had finished.
A few minutes later Riley appeared, carrying a tray. She looked up as she shrugged her way out of her jacket. The heat from the fire was already reaching her.
He smiled as he set down the two tall latte glasses filled with hot chocolate, with whipped cream and marshmallows spilling over the edges. A plate with shortbread Christmas trees followed.
She looked up. ‘Really?’
His eyes twinkled. ‘Why not? I love Christmas.’
There was something about that smile. Something about that twinkle in his eye. It had always been there before, and it was part of the reason she’d avoided him. Riley Callaghan was too easy to like. He was almost infectious.
She was surprised. ‘You do? So do I.’
‘At last.’ He smiled. ‘Something we have in common.’
She frowned. ‘I imagined you were always away for Christmas.’
He looked amused. ‘You think about me?’ He couldn’t hide the cheeky gleam in his eyes. Then he shrugged. ‘A lot of the time I am. But here’s the thing...’ He leaned across the table as if he were going to whisper to her.
She followed his lead and bowed her head next to his as his face lit up with a wicked grin. ‘Many other places in the world do Christmas too. Sometimes in forty degrees. And if they don’t? Well, I can always take it with me.’
She sat back and shook her head, pointing her finger on the table. ‘Well, I don’t want a sunny Christmas or to be anywhere else. I like Christmas here. I like tacky Christmas songs. I really like it when it snows. I like Advent calendars, Christmas cards and—’ she winked at him ‘—I really like Christmas food.’
She spooned some of the cream into her mouth.
‘So do I,’ he said cheekily as he dug his spoon into her cream instead of his.
‘Hey!’
She gave his hand a playful slap. ‘Watch out, Riley. I bite, you know.’
His gaze met hers for a few seconds. He didn’t speak. Just kept staring at her. As if he were contemplating a whole host of things to say. A whole type of discussion she just couldn’t think about right now.
She broke their gaze and dug her spoon back into the cream.
‘About today,’ he started. She looked up. Work. This felt like safe territory.
‘You did everything right. There is always a risk of sudden deterioration in patients with neurogenic shock. It can happen at any point. You picked it up well.’
She sighed and leaned her head on her hand. The teasing and fun had finished, but that was fine. This was what they really should be talking about. ‘But he’s ventilated now. That can’t be good.’
Riley nodded. ‘It’s not great. It is a deterioration. Now, we need to monitor carefully in case he’s going into organ failure. He might not.’
She met his gaze. She felt sad. His emerald-green eyes were saying a whole lot of things that they weren’t discussing out loud. They both knew that things for Robert might not be good.
He leaned across and touched her hand. ‘You did everything you should.’
She stared down at his blunt cut fingernails. She should pull her hand back. Jerk it away. She wanted to. But somehow after the events earlier she wanted a few seconds of comfort.
She looked up again. ‘How is Finn?’ It was the question she should have asked immediately. It didn’t matter she was trying to step back and detach herself from the situation. She’d spent the last few days worrying about the little guy.
Riley took a long slow breath. ‘He’s not happy, but he’s not sad. He’s getting there. He’s met some school friends and the teacher says he’s fitting in well. They’re going to do some bereavement work at school with him because it’s still all so new.’ He stirred his hot chocolate. ‘He was crying in bed the other night.’
Her heart squeezed in her chest. ‘What did you do?’
He pressed his lips together. ‘I thought about it for about ten seconds. Then I climbed in next to him and just held him. What else could I do? I hate that he’s sad. I hate that this has happened to him. I know the upheaval must be awful. And my learning curve is steep.’
‘What have you done?’
A smile crept onto his lips. ‘Well, my fridge and freezer are now stocked with child-friendly foods. I never knew there were so many yogurts. Potatoes have to be mashed. Raisins have to be a particular brand and he’ll only eat Pink Lady apples.’
April smiled as she spooned marshmallows into her hot chocolate. ‘But that all sounds good. It sounds as though he’s settling.’
Riley nodded. ‘We’ve put up the pictures you brought from the house. It’s weird. Seeing Isabel all around me.’
He dropped his head and stopped speaking.
Something inside her lurched. A horrible feeling. Envy. Why on earth was she feeling that? It was so misplaced. So wrong. But it was definitely there. Maybe there had been more to the relationship than she’d initially thought. ‘So...do you miss her?’
He sighed; the pained expression on his face said it all. ‘That’s just it, April. I didn’t really know her that well. We only went out for a couple of months. I don’t have a million nice tales I can tell Finn about his mum. I don’t have a lot of memories. She was nice.’ He shrugged his shoulders. ‘How awful is that? That’s about as much as I have to say about her. Finn deserves more than that.’
She licked her lips for a second. She could see what he wasn’t saying. ‘You’re still angry.’
He pulled a face. ‘Inside, I am. But I hope I don’t show that around Finn. It’s just when I turn around Isabel seems to be staring me in the face.’ He ran his fingers through his hair. ‘And the family housing. It’s not ideal. You probably already know that. I need to find a place for us. A home.’
The way he said those words sent a little pang through her. Riley wanted to make a home with his son. Would she ever get to make a home with someone? Would anyone want to be in a relationship with a girl who could always have a cancer risk hanging over her head, and couldn’t have a family? It wouldn’t exactly make for a winning profile on a dating website. She cringed at the thought of it and focused back on Riley.
‘You can’t just jump out and buy the first thing you see.’
‘Can’t I? Why not? I can get a mortgage. I have enough money in the bank.’
‘But you don’t know if you’ll always be here. Another move might not be good for Finn.’
‘But what if it’s a permanent move?’
Riley Callaghan. Here permanently. Working together every day. She’d need to see his smiling face. Avoid his cheeky grins. Four weeks had been manageable—there had been an end date in sight. But for ever? How could she lock away the attraction she felt for him for ever?
She leaned back in her chair. ‘It’s a lot to think about.’ She glanced at the glass in front of her. ‘This must be a million cal
ories. You—’ she wagged her finger at him ‘—are a bad influence.’
He leaned forward. ‘Just call it a bribe.’
He had that grin on his face again. The one he used time and time again on the ward when he wanted to talk someone into something.
She pointed at the shortbread Christmas trees. ‘Am I going to need one of these?’
He pushed the whole plate before her and clasped his hands on the table. It seemed such a formal stance for Riley she almost laughed.
‘Thing is,’ he started seriously, ‘I appreciate all the arrangements you’ve made for me. I know doing something like that really goes above and beyond.’ He pointed at the hot chocolate and shortbread. ‘And these don’t count for that.’ He waved his hand. ‘I’ll get you something more appropriate.’ He leaned a little closer across the table. ‘But there’s something else.’
She shook her head and ignored the ‘more appropriate’ comment. Riley Callaghan was trying to sweet-talk her. ‘Don’t build it up, Riley. Just hit me with it.’
He did. ‘Finn.’
