“Ever since Dad died, I didn’t feel anything. I wanted to disappear from this world. I didn’t want to wake up in the morning. Then after meeting Sophie, Ifeltagain. I was happy again. I was living. Does that not mean anything to you, Mom? Does my happiness meannothing?”
Mom’s fingers hover over her phone. She slowly lowers it to the table, then faces me. For the first time in weeks, I see emotion in there. Care. Her eyes are soft.
“Of course your happiness means something to me, Damian. It means a lot. I’m just trying to protect you.”
“Protect me by taking away the person who means more to me than anything else in the world? I love her, Mom. I love her so much.”
Mom rubs her hand down her face. “You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand. Why are you so against me being happy?”
Shaking her head, she shuts her eyes. “I know what you’re going through because I was just like you when I was younger. I also thought I was in love.”
“With Dad.”
Nodding, she motions for us to sit down on the couch. This feels strange because we’ve never sat together like this before.
“I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you, Damian.” She stretches her hand and takes mine. “But I want you to understand that everything I did for you was because I wanted to protect you.”
“I’m sixteen. I don’t need you to protect me.”
She shakes her head. “I know you don’t want to be part of this life, but the truth is that you don’t have a choice. You may call yourself a Lawrence until you’re blue in the face, but you’re a Harrington, and the world sees you that way.”
I’m about to argue, but she says, “We’ll get to that later. Let me tell you what happened when I was a little older than you.”
I nod.
“But before I start, I just want to tell you that Sophie is a remarkable girl. She’s very special, and under different circumstances, I would jump for joy that you’ve chosen each other. But these are not different circumstances.”
“Different circumstances?”
“Let me start with your father and me. We met at a restaurant where he worked and where I frequented. I was upset one night and he asked me if I was all right. We started talking and got to know each other. I was always told by my father that I was going to marry someone wealthy, someone who would advance the Harrington Empire. There wasn’t anyone specific he had in mind, but he knew the type of person he wanted for me. However, I got close to your father.” She smiles. “All my life, I had to be the perfect daughter and I never had fun. Your father brought out my fun side. I had never met anyone like him.He was vastly different from the boys I grew up with and was expected to marry. Your father brought light into my life. I fell madly in love with him almost immediately. I was the happiest I had ever been, the future looked so bright. I thought I had my entire life figured out, as long as I had him in it.”
She takes a break before continuing. “When I brought your father home to meet my parents, my mother fell in love with him as well. He was the perfect boy she envisioned and hoped for me to marry. Dad loved him as well. There was only one problem. Your father didn’t have a penny to his name. He worked three jobs just to be able to afford the basic necessities. I offered many times to pay for our dates, to help him out, but he refused. He loved spoiling me.” Her smile is sad and I swear I see tears in her eyes.
My throat burns as I drop my gaze to the floor.
“When my father found out your dad was poor, he demanded I break up with him. I loved your dad, so of course I refused. My mother tried to reason with my dad, but my dad was pretty headstrong and once he made up his mind, there was no changing it. Your father and I wanted to be together. We wanted to get married and start a family. I didn’t want anything to do with the Harrington name.”
Her eyes meet mine before she continues, “My father and I fought about it all the time. He threatened that if I married your father, he would disown me. I knew your father didn’t have much to offer me, but his love was enough for me. Or so I thought.” She shuts her eyes before she opens them and sighs. “We would sneak around behind my father’s back. We had a special place in the woods where we would meet and talk and laugh and kiss. It was there where your father asked me to marry him and I said yes. My father refused to have anything to do with the wedding, so your father and I eloped. I was so happy becauseI had him in my life. I didn’t need anything else. I didn’t care that my father disowned me.
“Life was hard because we had no money, but we were happy despite that. I didn’t have a relationship with my father, but my mother kept in touch every so often. I had to work a few jobs as well so we could afford to live. I was ready and willing to live this life because I had your father. But everything changed after you were born.”
I swallow and look at her.
“I was okay with having so little,” she continues. “So was your father. But we both wanted you to have everything in the world. I…” She takes a breath. “We didn’t have much money and could barely afford diapers for you. I was so desperate, I called my dad for money. He told me he’d only help me out if I agreed to divorce your dad.” She lowers her head and wipes a tear from her eye. “I told him no thank you and hung up. Your dad convinced me to just give in to my dad. He said a divorce wouldn’t stop him from loving me. But I said no. It was a struggle to provide you with everything you needed, so when you were four years old, we couldn’t handle it anymore and decided to divorce. It was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life.”
“So…you got divorced because of me.”
“No, Damian.” She places her hand on mine. “We came from two different worlds.”
“Do you regret falling in love with him?”
“No, I don’t regret it at all. Those years were the happiest of my life and he gave me you. I wouldn’t change that for anything.”
“But you never wanted me. After the divorce, you dumped me with nannies and were never around. Only Grandma was.”
Mom nods slowly. “Divorcing your father affected me in a way I never expected it would. The day I had to say goodbye tohim, a large part of myself left along with him. I became a shell of a person, a cold person, a person devoid of love.”
