“But you could have still kept in touch with him.”
“Yes, we did at the beginning. We were still in love. But my father passed the Harrington Empire over to me. I put my entire self into it as a way to ease the pain of losing your dad.” She bends forward to take my hands. “I’m sorry I wasn’t a mother to you. I was just in so much pain and I completely closed myself off to my feelings. I became a stone-hearted person. My focus was on the school and the empire and nothing else mattered. The only way for me to deal with the pain of losing your dad was shutting off my emotions. That was a big mistake. I wasn’t there for you. It was easier to let others take care of you. I hate to say this, Damian, but I didn’t want to be a mother.” She hangs her head. “I’m ashamed to say this, but it’s the truth. I always loved you and I still love you very much, but I don’t know how to be a mother. I’ve been Beatrice Harrington for so long and everyone knows how cutthroat I can be.”
She takes another break before continuing, “You moved in with your dad when you were ten because we both knew you weren’t happy with me. I’m glad you were able to spend time with your father. He was always such an amazing dad.”
“You didn’t visit him when he was dying,” I say, trying not to sound accusing, but I can’t help it. “He asked for you, but you didn’t come. Do you know he still loved you until the day he died?”
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I wanted to see him. I honestly did. But I suppose I was afraid. I tried to get on the plane, but I couldn’t. My body didn’t move. I physically couldn’t get on that plane.”
“So you gave up.”
She nods. “A decision I’ll regret for the rest of my life.”
I don’t say anything because I don’t know what to say.
“I hope he’s forgiven me,” she says.
We’re quiet for a little bit. I keep my gaze on the floor.
She turns to me. “Damian, the reason I forbid you from seeing Sophie is because I don’t want you to go through what I went through. I don’t want you to get hurt. I understand that you love Sophie, but love isn’t enough. I’m sorry, but you have no future. I just want to protect both of you.”
I lift my head. “Who are you to decide that we don’t have a future?”
She’s about to answer, but I continue. “Sophie and I aren’t you and Dad. Just because you shut yourself off and refused to feel anything, it doesn’t mean that will happen to us. You think love isn’t enough, but I think love is the only thing that matters.”
“You’re young. You don’t understand.”
“I understand enough. Only Sophie and I can decide our future and what we want. No one else can. I don’t care about being a Harrington. I’m Damian Lawrence and I decide my own fate. And I told you I don’t want to inherit your empire.”
“Damian.”
“No. I know it’s been passed down in our family for generations, but that doesn’t matter. I don’t like that way of life. It’s not for me. And if you truly cared about my happiness, you’d let me live the life I want.”
She purses her lips.
“And I get that you don’t like to feel anything and you haven’t been the best mom, but you can change that. You can feel again. We can start over and have a real relationship. Dad would want that. He’d want to see both of us happy.”
She doesn’t say anything. Then she gets up and starts to pace. “For years I vowed not to turn into my father…” She stops and shakes her head. “And now look at me. I’m the spitting image of him.”
I don’t say anything.
Mom looks back at me with tears pricking her eyes. “You’re right about your dad. He would want us to be happy. He’d want us to have a relationship. He’d hate to see the terrible person I’ve become.” She sighs as she rubs her forehead. “Maybe I need to focus on myself instead of focusing on everyone else around me.”
She walks back over and sits down, taking my hands. “I know we have a long way to go, Damian,” she says in a low voice, “but can you ever forgive me for everything I put you through?”
“I can if you can love me for me and not for the vision you have of me.”
She bends forward and awkwardly wraps her arms around me. “I want you to know that I love you, even though it doesn’t always feel that way,” she whispers. “I might have shut myself off all these years, but I always kept a little space in my heart open for you.” She draws back to look at me. “I want to start fresh. I want to have a relationship with you. And if you don’t want to take over the Harrington Empire, then I’ll have to accept that and make other arrangements.”
“Thank you. Maybe I could be somewhat involved, but not completely involved, you know? Itismy legacy after all.”
“Yes, I’d like that. And it was wrong of me to threaten Sophie. It was wrong of me to keep you away from each other. I’m worried you’ll get hurt like your father and I did, but I need to let go and let you kids live your lives. Do you think you can forgive me?”
“Yeah, I can.”
She brushes her lips on my forehead. “I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been treating you. I let my pain push you away, and that was wrong. You’re an amazing young man, Damian. So kind and caring. Sophie is very lucky to have you.”
I smile. “I’m lucky to have her.”
