“Not gonna happen,” I shrug. “And I’m not sorry about it. Does that count?”
“No, it doesn’t,” she sighs, laying her head back on my shoulder. “I just have to accept that you’ll always be a better person than me.”
I’m only a better man because I met you, darlin’.
“So what do we do now?” she asks, sneaking a timid glance at me. “Is this our closure? I know I didn’t give you any that summer. Is this how we say goodbye?”
“Over my dead body,” I bark, harsher than I intend. “Eleanor, this is me wanting to say hello again. We’ve lived more life, we know ourselves better. At least I do. Would it be so awful to give it a shot again? See if we can work this out?”
She looks at me full-on, face stricken.
“Griffin, I–”
“Before you say no, just think about it. We can take it slow, see how the summer goes. You don’t have to promise me forever.” I sound desperate, but I don’t care. “Please don’t make me spend another minute without you.”
She opens her mouth, then hesitates. Something like dread passes over her face, so quick I might have imagined it. She closes her mouth again, then nods slowly. For the first time in a damn long time, the weight in my chest isn’t so heavy.
“Okay.”
I pull her into my chest without another word, breathing a sigh of relief as I look out over the water, so still it looks like glass reflecting the blue summer sky.
“Okay,” I say back, gripping her tightly.
Maybe this time I won’t have to let her go.
Chapter 43
Ellie
May, Age 20
“Can we keep this to ourselves for now?”
Laying in bed later that night, I absentmindedly stroke the patch of hair on Griffin’s chest, still unsure if this is a good idea. I look up at him nervously, waiting for his answer.
He frowns, and my stomach sinks. Six hours into trying this again and I’m already bringing him down.
What the hell is wrong with me?
“Is that what you want, darlin’?” he asks quietly, running his fingers through my hair and tucking it behind my ear.
“I just want this to be ours,” I say, already feeling a tightness in my chest returning. “If everyone knows, there’s so much pressure. I want to get to know you again on our own terms.”
I tilt my head up, placing a gentle kiss on his jaw. “I don’t want to share you just yet.”
A smile tugs his mouth back up, and the iron grip on my insides loosens. He leans down to kiss me, then pulls me in tighter. We settle into the bed further, and I relish the feeling of being in his arms again.
“So it’s not because you’re ashamed of me?” he asks, his tone turning playful.
“As if.” Rolling my eyes, I look back up at him and my heart skips a beat at the unrestrained joy in his grin. “You’re the one who should be ashamed of me, I’m a nightmare.”
“Don’t you talk about my girl like that,” he teases, flicking me on the nose. “You’re an absolute dream, darlin’.”
The tension coiled so tightly inside of me slowly unravels with every word out of his mouth. I’ve been a nervous wreck all afternoon, dreading the moment he comes to his senses and realizes he should want nothing to do with me. But after a round ofinsanemakeup sex and whispered sweet nothings, I’m starting to believe that we might make it through after all. And maybe, just maybe–all of that heartbreak will have been worth it.
***
“Griffin, you couldn’t have picked a worse spot, I can’t see a damn thing.”
