“Hell no,” David says, smile widening. “Who’s the lucky lady?”
“I’ll tell you when I’m good and ready.” I’m starting to lose my patience, but if I don’t keep my cool, they’re really going to figure out that something’s going on. “Listen,” I say with a sigh. “I’ve only ever brought two girls around. And both times ended in disaster.”
They glance at each other then back at me, looking a lot more sympathetic than they did two minutes ago. The last two girls in this basement with us were Katie and Eleanor, and we all remember exactly how that went.
“Can you let me have this one for now?” I plead. “I promise if it gets serious, I’ll let you know. It’s just not there yet.”
If they caught on to the fact that I saidit’snot there versusI’mnot there, they don’t let it show. The fact of the matter is, I’ve been there from the second she was in my passenger seat again. I’mshout it from the rooftops, take an ad out in the local paperlevels of there. If it were up to me,I’d paint “Property of Eleanor Turner” on the side of my truck and make it my full time job to give her the world.
But it’s not there yet. She’s not there yet. All I can do is show up every day and hope I can convince her to join me.
***
“Griffin!” Eleanor squeals gleefully, flinging her arms around my neck and leaping up to wrap her legs around my waist. “What are you doing here? I didn’t think I’d see you tonight.”
After Jack and David left my house, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way keeping a secret from my best friends has been gnawing at me–particularly because they’re catching on, even if they don’t know what they’re catching on to yet. When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I texted Eleanor to ask if I could come pick her up.
The knot in my stomach melts the instant her lips are on mine, her hands threaded through my hair. Her eyes lit up like fireworks when she stepped out her front door and skipped across the yard to me, and erased every other thought from my mind.
“Howdy there, darlin’,” I murmur against her lips. “I missed you something fierce.”
“You saw me this morning,” she giggles, leaning back to look at me.
“I fail to see your point.”
She drags her bottom lip between her teeth, cheeks turning visibly pink even in the nighttime shadows. “I missed you, too,” she whispers, pulling my face toward hers until we’re connected again. The kiss turns heated, and in the blink of an eye we’re all lips and tongue and teeth, our breathing rapidly growing ragged. I spin her around so her back is pressed against the passenger door of the truck and grind my hips into hers, letting out a groan when she whimpers softly against my mouth.
Focus, Griffin.
Breaking the kiss, I press my forehead to hers and try to catch my breath. “You wanna come over, darlin’?” She nods vigorously, hopping down gracefully as I open her door and help her step up into her seat.
Once we’re curled up in my bed, her head on my chest while she wears one of my oversized tshirts, I work up the courage to broach the subject. “So, Jack and David were over here earlier.”
“I know, that’s why I thought I wouldn’t see you tonight.”
“Well,” I say slowly. “The thing is, I don’t know how much longer we can keep this between us.” I hear her breath hitch, and dread washes over me. She says she wants to keep me to herself, but I can’t shake the feeling that she’s embarrassed to be with me, or doesn’t plan on sticking around again.
“What makes you say that?” Her voice is timid, and I want so badly to find the right words to convince her that this is going to work, that we don’t need to worry about anything.
“They asked me why I’ve been weird this summer. And they guessed it was a girl.” I feel her tense up, and my heart sinks. “I told them I’m not ready to share it yet, given how things went the last two times I brought a girl around.” The second it leaves my mouth, I know I’ve said the wrong thing.
“That’s why I didn’t want to tell them,” Eleanor whispers, voice trembling. “I was so awful last time, they’re going to tell you to run. They’re going to say I don’t deserve you, and that you shouldn’t trust me again.” A tear rolls off her cheek and onto my chest, and I drag her on top of me, tightening my grip and kissing the top of her head. “And the worst part is, they’re probably right. I’m just waiting for the day you realize that.” She looks up at me, eyes fullof tears and fear and guilt. “I’m scared to death that you’re going to change your mind about me.”
“Never in a million years,” I say fiercely. “First of all, they love you. They’ve never held a grudge against you, and neither have I. Second, you arenotawful, and I’m the one who doesn’t deserveyou.” She chokes out a sob, burying her head in the crook between my shoulder and neck. “Don’t cry, darlin’.” I hold her close, murmuring promises and reassurances until her tears run dry. I don’t know how I didn’t realize how much guilt she’s been carrying–it never occurred to me that she wanted to keep it a secret because she thinksIshould be embarrassed ofher.
With a shuddering breath, she lifts her head up and looks into my eyes. Her eyes are the most incredible shade of crystal blue, even as they’re red rimmed and puffy.
“You really think they’ll be okay with this? If the shoe was on the other foot, Abby would never speak to you again. What makes you so sure they’ll forgive me?”
“Neither of them stopped being friends with you, Eleanor. There’s nothing to forgive.”
“Maybe not as Ellie their friend, but as Ellie their best friend’s ex-girlfriend? There’s a lot to forgive there.”
“Well, if they handle it poorly I’ll kick ‘em to the curb. It’s you and me forever, darlin’.” Her tears start to flow again, the pained look on her face bringing a different kindof sinking feeling to my stomach. Lately when I’ve talked about the future, she looks like she wants to say something but stops herself every time. I’m trying not to let past wounds taint what we have now–but I’d be lying if I said I’m not afraid that she’s holding something back again.
She nods, laying her head back down as she snakes her arms around my abdomen and holds on like her life depends on it. “Do you mind if I tell them? I’m having dinner with Jack and Abby tomorrow, and I think I should be the one to say something.”
“If that’s what you want, that’s okay with me.”
