“Scared that you’re going to hurt me again! That I can’t trust you!”
“Well I’m not going to be some back up plan to make out with when you’re sad, twiddling with my thumbs while you decide if you can trust me again,” I say, voice dangerously low. “You don’t get to ask me to wait around for you forever.”
“Don’t worry,” she says harshly. “I’ll make sure you don’t have to be around meat all.Enjoy your new girl.”
She storms upstairs, slamming the door behind her as she leaves.
“That lasted all of ten minutes,” Jack sighs defeatedly, rising to follow her.
“I don’t want a new girl,” David says in a small voice.
My anger dissipating, I hang my head, shame washing over me. “I’m sorry you guys,” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t think me and Eleanor can ever go back to the way it was before.”
Without another word, I go upstairs to my room, sliding into my bed without turning on the light. An odd combination of numbness and heaviness weighs on my ribs, and I replay her words over and over in my head, trying to pinpoint the exact moment of disaster.
What the fuck just happened?
Chapter 25
Ellie
November, Age 18
My fight with Griffin looks a lot different on this side of sleep.
When I left in dramatic fashion last night, I was so sure my anger was justified. The moment I woke up this morning, reality hit me like a freight train.
To quote the man himself–I fucked up. I’m surprised I’m even admitting it, I’m so used to being right. I’m always on the right side of an argument (at least in my head I am), and given our history, no wonder I jumped to the conclusion that I’m the wronged party here.
Newsflash–I am not.
Griffin was right. I’m the one who called our kiss a distraction. I downplayed it because the connection we have scares me to bits.
“Ellie, you’re a lot better at forgiving than you are apologizing. And let’s be real, you aren’t great at either of them. You’re going to have to work on that if you want Griffin around.”
Abby’s words from last night are ringing in my head. I called her the second I slammed my bedroom door behind me, ready to rant and plot his demise.
After I finished unloading, she took so long to respond I thought the call might have dropped. Or maybe she was so appalled by his actions that she couldn’t come up with a response. Or she left her phone behind in her haste to follow through on that murder charge she was worried about catching.
Instead she did the worst thing imaginable–she decided to be reasonable.That traitor.
“Sweetie, I hate to say it…but I think you’re wrong here.”
To her credit, she stood her ground when I voiced my outrage. Loudly. At great length.
“He’s hurt, Ellie. You shut him out for years, made out with him, then brushed it off. He probably feels used.”
Well shit, I didn’t think of that.
“I wasn’t using him Abby, I just freaked out.”
“I know that, but he doesn’t. Well I guess technically he does since you screamed at him.”
That made me wince.Not my finest moment.
“He’s allowed to be scared too, my love. Maybe it’s time to stop punishing him for one mistake.”
“But it was a big mistake, Abs,” I choked, tears beginning their familiar path down my face.
