“It was. But maybe you let go of that to make room for something wonderful. You like him, he likes you. Let it happen.”
“What if everything goes wrong?”
“Not to get too Hobby Lobby canvas with it, but what if everything goes right?”
After considering her words for a few minutes, I grab my phone to call Griffin, but some mental block has my finger hovering over the button without actually pushing it.
Deciding against it, I toss my phone back on the bedside table and bury myself in my comforter with a groan. I’m going to have to apologize. I have no idea how to do that. I don’t exactly have a lot of practice.
You’re going to have to work on that.
I peek up over my covers when there’s a knock on my door. I consider telling whoever it is to go away, but before I get a chance, my mom opens the door and says, “Angel, there’s someone here to see you.”
My heart leaps with hope that maybe Griffin is here to talk everything out. I can almost feel myself physically deflate when Jack walks in.
“Don’t look so excited to see me,” he says grimly, closing my door and pulling my desk chair over to the side of the bed.
“Ugh,” I exhale frustratedly, yanking the covers back up over my head. “Go away Jack, I know I messed up, I’ll apologize.”
He firmly, but gently, peels the blanket back, forcing me to look at him. He doesn’t look angry, he looks sympathetic. Deciding that he’s not here to berate me, I sit up all the way, pulling my knees up to my chin. Hopefully he can say something to make me feel better–or at least feel like less of a psycho.
“How was the rest of the night?” I ask quietly, scared of the answer.
“Well, not good,” he admits with a sigh. “When I got back after taking you home, Griffin was locked up in his room and David was pacing like a lunatic trying to figure out how to fix things.”
“Sorry I made such a scene,” I apologize defeatedly. “The reunion tour is off to a bad start.”
He smiles at my attempt at levity, patting my forearm in comfort. “Every great band had some kind of fallout, doesn’t mean we can’t figure it out.”
“You really think so?”
I hate how small I sound. I hate that it’s my own fault.
“I do,” Jack says with a slow nod. “I think things will be different though.”
My heart sinks. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?”
In a gentle voice, he continues, “He’ll always forgive you, Ellie. In his eyes, you hung the moon. One fight won’t erase that.”
His tone shifts, his next words sounding like a warning. “But you can’t do this to him again. Either be in, or be out. But don’t make him feel like a backburner option.”
“He’s not just an option to me, I swear he’s more than that,” I reply quickly. Biting my lip nervously, I whisper, “I think I want to be in. All the way.”
He nods his head, but doesn’t say anything.
“Do you think I ruined everything, Jack?”
“I don’t think you blew your only chance, if that’s what you mean.”
I exhale a sigh of relief, but that relief is short lived.
“But you need to do a lot better thanI thinkhere. You need to know.”
Guilt twists my stomach in knots. Even here, with one of my best friends, I still can’t bring myself to be honest about my feelings. I don’t know why my knee-jerk reaction is to downplay it.
“And you probably need to give him the space to figure out exactly whathewants,” he adds,standing and stretching his arms up. “You got to work through your feelings while you were with Bennett.”
He extends a hand down to me.
