The longer she looks, the more likely she’ll notice, but he’s not a quitter. He won’t give in yet. He fights so hard to remain still that the beginnings of tremors shake his fingertips where they rest against his knees.
At first, he can see the desire to win written all over her face. Then something changes right around the time he begins to feel a sweat break out across his forehead, and her expression softens, even though her eyes never waver.
“It’s okay,” she says, covering his hands with her own. “We don’t have to hide from each other, right?”
“Right.”
“I want you to see me.”
He sees a clear mile past the usual barriers, straight into the depths of those eyes he finds so strikingly beautiful. That awkwardness they started with begins to fade as they crest a peak and begin coasting down the other side until he can’t remember how it ever could have been anything but comfortable to be right here looking at her.
Maybe it’s the drugs, but all he wants is to touch her. The usual padlock he’d have secured on that urge is nowhere to be found.
He swallows hard, slipping one hand from hers to caress lightly across her wrist up to the elbow, curving there before continuing the journey past the slope of her shoulder to trace the muted constellations dotted across her collarbone. It’s a good thing he’s spent so many years imagining the map his fingers follow because he doesn’t have to look to chart the course. He knows where he’s going, knows every inch of her he’s been allowed to see. When she tilts her head to offer him more, that stare becoming hooded but not broken….he takes the invitation up the span of her neck and across the angle of her chin.
Pink lips part in his periphery, and her breath hitches when he touches her like she touched him the other night, his thumb brushing light and soft against her warm lower lip. Something has shifted between them since then. He felt it during that dance but second-guessed it by morning. Now, it’s far too obvious to ignore.
He loses the game when he glances down at her mouth. She only encourages him with a barely perceptible nod, as if knowing exactly what he wants and granting permission to take it. Then a crack of thunder shakes the motel, triggering dual flinches and eliciting a muffled curse from her and an apology from him as they bow their heads, looking away.
“We should go to sleep,” she says, sadly. “Get a head start tomorrow up that mountain.”
“Okay.”
He aims for the bed across the room, fighting disappointment, while she goes for the one by the door, but she catches his hand before he can get far enough away. “I don’t want to sleep alone, Wade.”
The bed is small, but he could never deny her. Follows her lead and joins her in that tiny space where she boldly curls carefully against his side, resting her head on his chest.
“I sleep better when I’m close to you,” she whispers.
He may have lost the contest earlier and even failed to kiss the girl, but it still feels like he won.
Chapter 31
Kara’s having that dream again. The one she often has when the usual nightmares take a short vacation. It starts with her being married to her best friend and ends with her crying because it’s not real.
They’re in some far off place in New Mexico, or Colorado, or Arizona. She can’t see the house they live in, but knows it’s safe and cozy, surrounded by the wide expanse of red desert. The simple wedding band on her finger proves she finally got exactly what she wants, and the warm arms wrapping around her from behind only highlight it.
Wade rests his chin on her shoulder as she gazes out past the horizon visible from their porch, whispering that breakfast is ready. She puts off turning around because she only gets a taste of this, just enough to want more of something forbidden. As predicted, she’s allowed a whole twenty seconds before he shimmers and fades, and she’s swept away from her heart’s desire.
Reality is difficult to distinguish this time, though. There’s an arm around her back and the soothing rise and fall of a muscled chest under her head. If she’s not awake yet, then she doesn’t want to be.
“You okay?” Wade asks, noticing how tense she’s become while trying to will herself back into oblivion.
“Please be real.”
She’s caught in the haze of sleep, prone to confusion without enough sense to slap a filter over her mouth. His half smile when she glances up takes the sting from her mistake.
“Last I checked, I am. Did you sleep okay?”
“Mhmm. I had a good dream.”
“Me too.”
His gentle, one-armed squeeze catches her so off guard that her request tumbles out by accident, revealing what she craves.“More.”
She’s overstepping, but he answers her plea anyway, surrounding her so completely as he pulls her in that any hesitation is whisked away. The more she’s given, the more she wants to feel him everywhere, and he doesn’t disappoint, only encouraged by her squeak of approval.
Kara never liked to be held. She’s always been more apt to fight it, but for someone who hates this sort of thing, she’s certainly getting lost in it right now. He’s her own personal weighted blanket, applying pressure at all the right spots until she’s melted and lax, surrendering to his all-encompassing hold that only goes slack after several long, firm moments.
