Chapter Twenty-Nine
Here to Love
Mina
When I open my eyes the world no longer wants to kill me. The light outside is fading away, telling me we’re well into the afternoon, and I can finally open both eyes and see things without the piercing pain.
And what I see is Charlie.
Curled up on his side facing me, his hands tucked under the side of his face, a blanket pulled up over both of our bodies, he looks completely at ease, completely peaceful. I smile, because why wouldn’t I smile when he looks as pretty as he does and he brought me soup and he said all those things, made me all those promises.
Promises I am still wary of, but promises I want to believe in, just like I want to believe in Charlie.
A week ago, wanting to believe him wouldn’t have been enough.
A month ago, wanting to believe that Hannah would have done more, wasn’t enough.
But something has changed. Maybe it’s the realisation that Hannah possibly would have done more, had I asked her to. Maybe it’s the fact Charlie showed up anyway, with a saucepan of soup and a bucketful of vulnerability. Maybe it’s the migraine hangover that is now kicking in and I’m just too fucking tired to fight myself anymore.
Or maybe I’m doing something that I should have been trying to sell to a client today. Maybe I am willing to let love rule.
Because I do think I could grow to love Charlie with his bright blue eyes, near perma-smile and kind heart. I do think I could fall in love with the way he shudders under my touch, the way he devours my pussy with his mouth and the way he says my name when he comes. I even think I could fall in love with his colourful clothes, his sticking-up hair, and the way his text messages are all several sentences too long.
As if my thoughts awaken him, Charlie starts to stir. His eyes open and his smile is instant.
“Hello girlfriend,” he says.
I purse my lips at him. “If you’re going to call me that every time you address me, I would like to extricate myself from this arrangement immediately.”
His smile goes nowhere. “I see you’re feeling better.”
“If by better you mean like I am back on planet Earth, then yes, I am feeling better.”
“I’m glad.” His hand slides across the bed and finds mine. “Is it okay to touch you?”
“Yes, Charlie,” I say a little petulantly, but I can’t help but admire him for asking. And then there’s what happens when he links his fingers through mine. I exhale. I feel a weight lift off my body. I feel like, despite the dull ache in my head and neck, I want to lean over and kiss this man so thoroughly that he loses his breath and his damn mind. But I don’t do that.
“I need to go clean my teeth,” I say, squeezing his fingers briefly before slowly rolling over and out of bed.
“Need help?” he asks.
I shake my head without turning around. I’m already halfway there. One upside of having a small apartment is that I don’t have far to go when I need the bathroom in an emergency like I did this morning. Thinking of this, I brace myself for the mess that is about to greet me in the bathroom, but when I open the door, I am instantly hit with the smell of cleaning products. Furthermore, when I flick on the lights and look around at the toilet, the sink and the floor, I see it shine, actually shine under the bulb’s glow.
“Charlie?” I call out. “Did you clean up in here? Or do I just have way better aim when chucking up my guts than I thought?”
“Are you going to be mad if I say I cleaned up?” His voice reaches me from the bed.
“Very,” I say, but I keep my body turned away from the door so he can’t see my smile.
“Must have been some magical cleaning fairy then,” he says.
This is too good for me to ignore. I turn around to rest my back against the doorframe. “I can absolutely see you jacking it all in at HNO and becoming a cleaning fairy.”
Charlie’s face adopts a strange expression that is far from the amusement I expect him to share at that comment.
“What?” I ask.
“Do what you need to do. We’ll talk after. If you feel well enough.”
