Fuck. None of it is fair.
But this could be something good. Something nice. Something to make Jessica smile.
“Buckle up,” I tell my sister and once she has, I pull out of the drive way.
We make the relatively short drive in mostly silence other than fighting over which song we listen to. I roll my eyes at her euro pop choices and she tsks loudly when I chose some early 2000s rap or Nineties R&B. Finally, I choose Prince’sRaspberry Beretand we stop arguing, smiles stretching our lips as we nod to the beat in time together. I spend most of the song hoping she doesn’t notice how incredibly smug my grin has no doubt become. Occasionally, I glance over at her, trying to determine if she has any clue where we’re going. When we pull up to Southern Nevada Animal Shelter, her eyes widen and she leans forward in her chair.
“Loncey?” Her voice is loud but slow and full of confusion.
“Surprise!” I say before parking the car.
“What are we doing here?”
“I… well, we, Momma and me. We found you a dog,” I explain as I find two clean mask and open the plastic packaging.
“A dog?” There’s still confusion, but the corners of her mouth twitch up.
“Yes, I know you wanted one when you’re younger, and we couldn’t because Mom worked too much, but you can take care of a dog yourself now and I’ve done my research. I’ve beenreading all about low-shedding, hypoallergenic dogs so there’s a very low risk of allergic reaction. I called the shelter last week and they have this little Yorkshire Terrier who was left here a few months back because he was too clingy-”
“Too clingy?” Jessica’s eyes grow even bigger as she takes the mask I offer her. “Who abandons a dog for being too clingy?!”
I shrug. “I don’t know but when they told me his name, well, I just knew it was meant to be.”
“What’s his name?” Jessica’s eyes are unblinking, fixed on me.
“Prince George,” I say with a slow smile. “Or just Prince.”
Jessica’s gaze shifts towards the one-story building where her dog waits for her. “Meant to be,” she half-whispers, and I know immediately that this is all going to work out.
And that’s the best birthday present ever.
*****
One week later and I’m starting to think that Prince is surgically attached to Jessica. I’m leaning against the doorjamb to her room and watching her with the brown-gray ball of fur who nuzzles his head against her body.
“My baby,” she coos as she holds him closer to her body, a sweet smile stretching her lips wide.
This. This right here is why I got Prince. He’s not a trained emotional support dog, but that’s what I was hoping for. So far he’s been everything I wanted him to be for Jessica. He’s been her constant companion since she carried him home on her lap, his little body curled up next to her POC. He’s a reason for her to get up in the morning. He’s helped bring some routine to her life. He’s given her a focus – something to take care of – and while I take him for longer walks in the afternoon, she has even started to go on short walks with him nearly every day, bringingmore exercise to her life and already I can tell her breathing is the better for it.
It doesn’t hurt that Mom and I happen to find him just as adorable. But we have to fight Jessica for our cuddles. Not that I mind. Seeing her curled up around him napping on the couch, or reading a book on a lounger outside with him resting on her lap, it’s brought a new sense of peace to my life as well. Knowingthat Jessica’s never alone. Knowing that she has him to love. Knowing that she feels Prince’s love always.
I also can’t lie that it’s helped immensely that Jessica hasn’t said anything else about Taylor, and though it’s somewhat cowardly, I’ve not brought it up myself. Taylor’s not been a stranger either, coming over a couple of times each week like she usually does, but I haven’t seen them holding hands or sharing longing looks again. Even thinking that unsettles me, like I shouldn’t be watching my sister so much, or thinking it wrong that she has a crush on her best friend, or on anyone.
But figuring out those feelings is too difficult and confusing for me so I have kept on ignoring them. Likewise, I’ve mostly ignored how excited I felt when Maeve messaged me earlier today about coming to XXXCon. What I’ve annoyingly not done is ignore the conversation we shared, finding myself picking up my phone and reading our last messages more times than I’d like to admit.
“Are you just going to stand there watching us all day?” Jessica demands, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“No, I’m not watching you, I’m…” I say, sounding as dazed as I feel. “I came up to find out if you wanted a smoothie and to have a Computer Club session on the couch.”
Jessica considers my offer as she scratches the top of Prince’s head. “Can do,” she pushes up off the bed. “Come on, Princey, let’s go and snuggle on the couch while Auncle Loncey makes us a smoothie and a snack.”
“While Auncle Loncey does what now?” I put my hands on my hips.
“You know I need my calories and vitamins and nutrients.” Jessica bats her eyelids at me. But I don’t mind. I don’t mind one bit. This is the dynamic I like most. Me taking care of her and her letting it happen, not fighting me.
Yes, getting that adorable clingy as fuck dog was the best idea I’ve had in months.
*****
