I put my phone away after that and focus on the conversation that flows between us as we drink after-dinner coffees and teas. For some reason, I feel a lot less uptight than I did a few moments ago. It must be the wine finally having an effect on me. That and maybe the way Jenna grabs my hand and rests my palm on her belly, telling me she can feel little kicks and wanting to know if I can feel them too. I can’t, but still, I keep my hand on her stomach for a long time.
Eventually, Jake and Rami can’t stop yawning which is unsurprising considering they were up until the early hours for Rami’s set at 3Arena last night, a warm-up gig before his world tour starts at the end of the year. When they finally announceit’s time for them to go home, Jenna says, “Thank fuck!” Because she was exhausted a long time ago, and Marty starts fussing about her not telling him.
Marty and Jenna drive home, while myself, Rami and Jake get a taxi. After I’ve dropped them off at their hotel, agreeing the time I’ll see them in the morning, I give the driver my address and then sit back in the seat. That’s when I finally take my phone out again. It looks like Loncey replied immediately after my last message.
“Ha!” The laugh rips out of me, like a loud cackle. A wave of warmth settles in my stomach. I like how they can joke with me about things like this. While I’ll admit I can quickly have my fill of sexual innuendo and references, like I just did at dinner, it’s also true that I am equally sensitive to people tiptoeing around my asexuality, assuming I can’t cope with a single mention of sex or physical intimacy or nudity. But Loncey doesn’t do that. They don’t treat me with kid gloves.
I blush at that, which annoys me just as much as them trying to flirt with me.
I type back, aware I am dissing myself as much as I am them.
A giddy warmth swoops through my stomach. This feels risky, like I'm pushing a boundary. I'm not sure I want to do...whatever the feck I'm doing, but no matter how hard I bite my lip, my lips keep curling into a smile.
Their question makes my shoulders drop and my back press harder against the back of the chair.
I type out and send my reply as the taxi pulls up outside my apartment building, and it doesn’t make me feel like the world is ending. It doesn’t even make me feel weird. The idea of one day meeting Loncey in person almost, almost makes me feel good.
Chapter Eleven
Loncey
“This is really what you want to do on your birthday?” Jessica asks after pulling the car door shut.
“This isexactlywhat I want to be doing on my birthday.”
“Shouldn’t I be surprising you? I’m pretty sure that’s how these things normally work.”
I turn to look at Jessica, one hand on the steering wheel. “What can I say? I get a kick out of making you feel nervous and on edge.”
“You sicko.” She wrinkles her nose at me, or at least she tries with a nasal cannula in place. Jessica doesn’t wear oxygen every time she leaves the house but she’s still not breathing as comfortably as any of us would like so I’d got the POC, her portable oxygen concentrator, ready for her before we left and much to my surprise, she didn’t fight me on it.
“And I hope you know that’s not true. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I promise you this is going to be a good surprise.”
I really do hope it is. The idea came to me in the middle of the night a few weeks ago after a particularly bad day of Jess coughing and struggling to even get downstairs without a sudden shortness of breath. It wouldn’t have been a problem but I was busy most of that day with the gym, getting tested and filming Harley and Miko in a scene. I’d hated leaving her alone. It didn’t seem fair.
