CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Ashlyn
It’s been a little over a week since Molly passed, and I’ve barely heard from Ben. He’s replied to a few of my messages, but that’s about it. I haven’t seen him in person since the night I stayed at his place, right before he got the call to go to Phoenix.
I keep telling myself to be patient. He’s grieving, and he has Laney to think about. I understand that, but no matter how much I try to be understanding, it’s hard not to feel like he’s slipping further away from me. And the worst part is, I don’t know how to stop it.
Paisley and Nash had their joint bachelor and bachelorette party this past weekend at the karting track in Prescott. It was the last place I wanted to be, but Ivy practically begged me to go, and I didn’t want to disappoint Paisley, so I smiled my way through it, even though everyone could tell it was forced. I guesswhen it comes to Ben, I’m not good at hiding how I feel. Still, no one said, and for that, I was grateful.
I’ve just gotten home from school, and even though there’s work I should be doing, I can’t focus on any of it. When the intercom buzzes, I frown, wondering who it could be. I’m not expecting anyone. With a sigh, I push up from the sofa and walk over to answer.
“Hello?” I say into the receiver.
“It’s me,” Ivy replies. “I thought you could use some company. Taylor and Paisley are with me.”
“Hi, Ash!” Paisley and Taylor yell together in the background, making me smile despite myself.
“Hey, guys. Come on up.”
I press the button to let them in and unlock the door, leaving it on the latch. A minute later, they come spilling through, arms loaded with takeout bags and bottles of wine.
“We brought reinforcements!” Paisley calls out. “Figured you probably haven’t eaten.”
I let out a soft laugh. “You figured right.”
I don’t mention that I’m not hungry, though. Instead, I head to the kitchen, grab four plates from the cupboard, and set them out on the counter.
“How are you holding up, Ash?” Taylor asks softly as she pulls me into a hug.
I give her a tired smile, one that I know doesn’t quite reach my eyes. “Do you want the polite version or the honest one?”
She squeezes me a little tighter, her own smile tinged with sadness. “The truth. Always the truth, no matter how messy it is.”
I let out a shaky breath. “I’m struggling, Tay. I feel completely out of my depth with all of this. Ben’s pulling away, and I can’t figure out if I’m supposed to give him the space he needs, or if I should be fighting to stay close.”
My voice cracks at the end, and she immediately reaches for my hand, lacing her fingers with mine. “I just want to see him,” I whisper. “But I can’t show up at his door uninvited.” I pause, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
Without hesitation, Taylor tugs me closer, wrapping her arms around me. A second later, Ivy and Paisley are there too, their arms encircling us, holding me steady. Despite everything, despite how lost I feel, I can’t stop the small, grateful smile that tugs at my lips. These girls are my family, and no matter what happens, I know they’ll always be here for me.
When we’ve all got some food, we move to the living room, all four of us squashing together on my small sofa. I push my food around my plate, taking small mouthfuls when I feel like one of them is watching me.
“Have you heard from Ben today?” Ivy asks gently.
I let out a sigh, leaning forward to set my barely touched plate on the coffee table. “No, not today. I sent him a message earlier, but he hasn’t replied.”
I glance up just in time to catch the three of them exchanging a look before Ivy, sitting beside me, reaches for my hand.
“Ash… Molly’s funeral is tomorrow. In River Falls.”
My eyes widen. “What? How do you know?”
She exhales softly. “Her obituary is online.”
“Oh.” A dull ache spreads through my chest, tightening with each breath. “Why hasn’t Ben told me?” I ask, even though I know she doesn’t have the answer.
“Are you planning on going?” Taylor asks hesitantly.
I don’t know if I should go.I want to be there for Ben and Laney, to support them, but if Ben blames our relationship for what happened to Molly, then I doubt he wants me anywhere near. She was his wife. Maybe it’s not even my place to be there.And the fact that he hasn’t told me when the funeral is… that says everything, doesn’t it?
