Once I’ve caught my breath and the tears have finally stopped, I tell them everything. Every painful detail of my conversation with Ben.
“God, Ash. I’m so sorry,” Paisley says, taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
Ivy shakes her head. “He’s grieving, Ash. He feels guilty for moving on when Molly never got the chance. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He loves you.”
“I agree,” Taylor adds with a small, reassuring smile. “He loves you, Ash.”
I sigh, my heart heavy. “Maybe love isn’t enough.”
“Then you fight for him,” Taylor says firmly. “Give him the space he thinks he wants… and then fight.”
I shake my head. “If it were just Ben, maybe I could. But it’s not. There’s Laney too. She’s barely speaking to him. She blames him for Molly’s death. How do we come back from that?”
None of them respond, and I don’t blame them. There’s nothing to say. If Ben lets his guilt consume him and decides to walk away, and God, I pray he doesn’t, there’s nothing I can do to stop him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Ben
Iend the call with Ash and head back inside, battling the overwhelming urge to turn around, cross the street, and go to her. I saw her black Audi the moment I stepped outside, and every part of me wanted to run to her. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I know I’m hurting her. I swore I never would, but everything I told her was true. The guilt over Molly’s death is consuming me, and I don’t know how to fight it.
“Where did you disappear to?” Milo asks as I head into the kitchen and straight to the fridge, grabbing a beer.
He’s sitting at the breakfast bar with his laptop, catching up on some work.
“I had to take a phone call,” I tell him, bringing the bottle to my mouth and taking a pull.
“Ashlyn, right?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
Surprise flickers through me. “How do you know about Ash?”
He shrugs. “Laney mentioned that you’d met someone. Mom brought her up too.”
“Laney told you?” I ask, caught off guard. “What did she say?”
“Just that she was nice and that she makes you happy. Happier than she’s seen you in a long time.”
Milo arrived late yesterday, which means Laney must have mentioned Ash to him today. If she’s saying that to Milo, maybe she doesn’t blame our relationship for Molly’s death. That should bring me some relief, but it doesn’t change the fact that I still blame myself.
“Why isn’t she here?” he asks pointedly. “I figured she’d want to be with you while you’re going through all this.”
I sigh, taking another sip of my drink. “She does. She was actually outside just now. I’m the one who didn’t want her to come in.”
Milo frowns. “What’s going on, Ben? Mom said you really like this woman.”
I sink onto the stool across from him, exhaling heavily. Milo and I have never been particularly close. He went to college in California and stayed there for work, only coming home for family gatherings. But right now, I need to talk to someone, and maybe having someone a little removed from the situation is exactly what I need.
“I saw Molly on Thursday,” I say quietly. “I told her about me and Ash and that I’d fallen in love.”
Milo nods slowly. “Okay…”
I shake my head, frustration tightening my chest. “Don’t you get it?” I lean across the breakfast bar, my voice edged with desperation.
“Get what?” he asks, clearly confused.
Pushing up from the stool, I pace the kitchen, running a hand through my hair.
“Ben,” he presses when I don’t respond.
