“It’s my fault she died,” I finally burst out.
Milo’s eyes widen. “What are you talking about?”
I drop my head, swallowing hard. “She stopped fighting when she found out about Ash and me.”
He steps toward me, gripping my shoulder firmly. “It wasn’t your fault, Ben. She caught an infection, one she probably already had when you saw her on Thursday.”
I shake my head. “She had nothing left to fight for,” I say sadly.
“She had Laney,” he says gently.
I sigh heavily. “Laney barely saw her after we moved to River Falls. She kept asking to visit, but I was too caught up with Ash to take her.”
“Ben…” he starts but hesitates.
“She thought we’d given up on her. You have to see that,” I murmur.
Milo shakes his head firmly. “Given up on her? Ben, you spent the last six years raising Laney on your own while holding down a full-time job. That’s not giving up.”
I swallow hard. “It still feels like I let her down right when she needed me the most,” I whisper.
He exhales slowly. “You and Molly were separated. You had every right to move on and find love again.” He pauses, watching me closely. “This guilt you're feeling… it's because you got the chance to move forward and she didn’t.”
My head tells me he’s right, but my heart doesn’t seem to have caught up.
“Don’t let this consume you. Molly would want you to move on.”
I nod, but I only wish I could believe him. I guess it’s going to take some time for me to sort my head out. I just hope Ash thinks I’m worth sticking around for. Right now, I wouldn’t blame her ifshe didn’t. I’m breaking every promise I made to her, and I don’t know if we can come back from that.
It’s beenthree days since Molly’s funeral, and tomorrow, Milo and Kirsten are heading home. Bennett flew in just for the service and left the same day, just staying long enough to say his goodbyes, but not much more. He’d wanted the funeral to be in Phoenix, but I stood firm on having her buried here. Laney needs a place close by where she can visit her mom. It took some convincing, but in the end, he reluctantly agreed.
The service was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to face. Laney was devastated, and I was thankful to have family around us for support. The only person missing was Ash, and I wished more than anything that she had been there. I miss her so much it physically hurts, but every time I reach for my phone to call her, the guilt takes over, and I just can’t go through with it.
Understandably, Laney has been quiet all week, barely leaving her room. I’m worried about her, but Kirsten assures me she’s just processing everything in her own way. I hope she’s right.
With Kirsten and Milo leaving in the morning, I made a reservation at Franco’s in Hope Creek for dinner. Other than the funeral, we’ve all been cooped up in the house for days, and I figure we need to get out for a bit.
I’m in the kitchen, waiting for everyone, when Laney walks in wearing a short black dress.
“You look nice,” I tell her, stepping closer to press a kiss on her head. “It’s good to finally see her out of her room.
“Thanks. It’s Ash’s dress. She let me borrow it. Is she coming tonight?”
My chest tightens at the mention of Ash, and I shake my head. “No, she’s not.”
She frowns. “What’s going on with you two? You haven’t seen her since Mom died. Did you guys break up?”
I sigh. “No… but I asked her for some space.”
Her eyes widen. “What? Why?”
“I just need time to process everything.”
She gives me a sad smile and steps forward, wrapping her arms around my neck. I slip my arms around her waist and hold her close.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’ve been so wrapped up in my own grief that I didn’t even realize how much you were struggling. Why didn’t you say anything?”
I pull back, searching her face. “You don’t have to apologize. You shouldn’t have to worry about me.”
