“I’m sorry.” It seemed like such an inadequate sentiment, but what more could I say. All I wanted to do was wrap him up in a hug. But he was across the country, and we’d never even met.
“Yeah. Not as sorry as I am.”
“What does that mean?” I frowned.
He sighed. “Nothing. It doesn’t mean a damn thing.”
I felt like I was missing something. It was as if I’d walked into a minefield with a blindfold on, and I didn’t know whether to take a step or if I even should.
After a long pause, he said, “My parents always had a volatile relationship, but my mom tried to shelter me from it.”
“So, your dad…”
“No, he never hit me.”
I released the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
“But I wish I’d spoken up sooner. I wish I’d done more to try to defend my mom or tried harder to get her help.”
My heart clenched as understanding dawned on me. He carried the guilt over whatever had happened. I had so many questions, but I was afraid to ask them.
“He, um, one night when I was ten, he went too far.” I could hear the anguish in his voice, and my heart reached out to him. “And…he killed her.”
“My god, Connor,” I gasped. “I’m so sorry.”
My parents had never had a great relationship, but compared to Connor’s, it was practically a fairy tale. Infidelity, divorce—those seemed inconsequential in comparison. I shuddered, imagining the horrors he must have witnessed.
“Did you know that boys who witness domestic abuse are twice as likely to become abusers themselves?” His voice was solemn, and I realized he was afraid. Afraid that he’d become abusive like his father.
“I…I didn’t. But I do know that you arenotyour father.” When he didn’t respond, I said, “Connor, are you listening to me?”
“Yeah. I heard you.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, growing more passionate by the second. “Because you are kind. You are honorable. You’re a hero.”
“Mm-hmm.” It certainly felt like he was ignoring me.
“Don’t make me come to Virginia to prove my point.”
He chuckled. “I don’t know, that sounds pretty appealing.”
I stilled, realizing it was the first time either of us had mentioned meeting in person, even if it had been in jest. “You know what I mean.” I rolled my eyes, my cheeks heating at the idea of seeing him.
“I’m not sure I do. Do you really think you’re prepared to go up against a six-foot-two navy SEAL? I mean, what are you, like five-two?”
“Formernavy SEAL. And I’m five-ten, thank you very much.” I sniffed, toying with the edge of a blanket.
“Mm. Interesting.” God, his voice was sexy. It was one of the reasons I loved talking to him. That, and the fact that he was smart, funny, and a good listener.
“What?” I asked.
“I’ve just been trying to picture you in my head.”
My cheeks pinched from smiling so hard. “Really?” I asked, tucking one leg beneath me.
I’d been trying to picture him too, but it was different hearing him say it aloud. I wondered what he pictured when he thought of me. Would he find me attractive?
“Send me a picture?” he asked.
